Hi, im new here il admit...not new to how i am feeling in general.

Just a sorry first, if this is in the wrong forum. >.> *is a bit confused as where this goes*

A few years ago, i decided to go to my local GP on the advice of a friend to get referred to start the whole treatement for me. Im scared, il admit and a few of my friends know whats going on and such. But at the time, the doctor i saw (A indian doctor, though that sounds wrong, there is a reason aparently) basicly said that the way i feel was becouse i was bored from being unemployed. Having him say that scared me off becouse he didn't take me seriously.

Now im going to try and go again, but im currently with a job center program. Im a lot more scared knowing that i want to try this while there then anywhere else.

Should i talk to someone first, to say what im doing? or should i keep quiet?

Im sorry for the slightly timid message, im not really confident about myself since that doctor. :/

Thank you in advance.

Also, sorry to add to this. Im also quiet heavy (um...nearly 30st.)...would my weight cause any issues. Ive looked everywhere and no one seems to exsplain. I myself don't mind being heavy.

You should go see as many doctors as you need to until you find one who is understanding and respecting. You don't need the added trouble of dealing with backward-thinking doctiors on top of your trans issues.

Don't reveal your trans identity to anyone unless you feel totally comfortable doing so. Also weigh up the costs and benefits. Is there a benefit to telling? - very often there is: support, peace of mind etc. However there many not be and it may play against you.

The most important thing is to stay healthy, safe and confident!

Your weight shouldn't be a problem as far as being trans but it is a future health issue. I'd recommend you to try and lose a few stone (slowly and safely). It would help things immensely in the long run.

Good luck and stay safe!

Thanks. Id rather tell the lady who i currently am at the job center with. She is VERY understanding and considering i might be geting a job, i think she should know incase i get...worried and what not.

Also, my weight. Ive tried so hard to lose some but nothing has worked, i refuse that kind of surgory though...becouse of having a friend who died from stomach staple surgory. Im kind of happy being a "heavy girl" in my own mind. Atleast id look how i think id look.

Um...il try my doctor again. Im scared out of my mind though >.> If i get that doctor again, i fear for his life......"You thinking you are felmale is due to not enough exersize......." *glares*

Thank you though. ^_^ Heh, anymore advice?

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Sometimes being scared helps. But geting help isn't a bad thing ether.

Hi Worca, welcome to tzone.

Worca wrote:

...the way i feel was becouse i was bored from being unemployed.

What a strange thing to say. Do try another doctor; this one's clearly inept.

Hi Worca, and welcome to tzone!

If I were you, I'd go back to the doctor and make an appointment to see a different doctor at the practice - even if it meant waiting longer for an appointment.

As regards telling your Job Centre worker, my advice would be to wait until you have something concrete to tell them. If you're planning on going full-time sooner rather than later, or changing your name, or anything like that then obviously you'll have to tell them. However, if not, then it's going to be a while until you get referrals through, and you may well have nothing to do with them by then - in which case you would have no need to tell them at all.

Incidentally, I don't really see what the doctor being Indian has to do with it at all...

Dave

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Sometimes being scared helps. But geting help isn't a bad thing ether.

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I have to EDIT because I can't SPELL!!

*waves at Dave's colleague*

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I have to EDIT because I can't SPELL!!

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Most of the time, most people do what most people do most of the time.

*dances*

Well. I went to the doctor today too. To see someone. A temp doctor named Dr. Zia, from london. She was the most helpful person on the planet! She told me what i should exspect, put forward her plan for PCT (? think thats who they need to get funding from for it) and i was told a lot of things. I really feel better.

Also, Thanks Juz, i spilled my tea in laughing so much. I nearly said that. >.> Though, a cute top on someone my size would look like a bad sketch from a comady program. Heh.

Thank you very much everyone. ^_^ I guess i have a lot to learn. Confidence being one >.> (atleast my mother is helping me, being surportive and such)

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Sometimes being scared helps. But geting help isn't a bad thing ether.

Firstly... the first doctor you saw. Religious beliefs should not be allowed to impact on the quality of care that any practitioner is giving. If you work for the British NHS you should abide by the local culture and customs.

That attitude annoys and upsets me. I'm a psychiatric nurse and I've had problems transitioning due to a lack of understanding and acceptance from the trust that I work for. But I still find it shocking that my trust and the first doctor you saw are allowed to get away with that kind of ignorance.

As an ex self harmer I find it tough to deal with a ptient who self harms. But I still do it and act professionally because well d'uh it's my job as a nurse.

A couple of other things. When you get to Charing Cross they will want to take bloods and cholesterol and liver function are amongst the bloods they will take. So it's best to lose some weight in a healthy way so that there will be no physical complications delaying you from transitioning.

Secondly (and I must add that I disagree with this) the international diagnostic criteria (Harry Benjamin Standards) usually state that part of the 'real life test' (living in your chosen gender role for 2 years) is being the real you in all walks of life including paid employment.

Charing Cross can be flexible though. They were understanding when I explained that I had been in role 24/7 since June '07 but due to issues with work I had been presenting at work in female clothes but addressed as Pete for the sake of the patients.

So they do bend the rules for you to a certain extent. Anyway the main thing I'd say is try to lose a bit of weight before Charing Cross if you can and just go down there and be yourself. Good luck.

Beth
x

My weight is something i have tried so much to get down. I exersize, diet and it dosn't move. Im hoping im not so bad as they will prevent it, though i was told il gain a lot during the transistion stage (So to speak)

And yea...i went through a lot. I still am going through some stages of "issues" so to speak. Though i wont say here as i dont' want ot bring people down >.> heh.

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Sometimes being scared helps. But geting help isn't a bad thing ether.

Hi Worca and welcome to tzone.

I'm glad to hear todays doctor was much nicer and helpful . Having a helpful GP can really make a difference, I've been through a few doctors in my practice.

Feel free to ask us any questions here and start a blog in the My Story and Daily Blogs if you like. Don't worry about bringing us down just post about whatever is on your mind and we'll try to bring you back up again. We all support each other here and there is a good spirit amongst the members of tzone.

Also it's great news that your mother is being supportive too .

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Chrissy
Forums Moderator.

Always have faith and believe in yourself.
Never run from the truth.
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