Hi, I am just starting with my transition and have been dressing as a woman full-time for about two weeks now at home and at work (gradually phased in) and am in the process of having laser hair removal on my face.

My dressing has been what you would call subtle but just because I worry that I am just going to look like a man dressed as a woman and that cripples my self esteem. I am growing and styling my hair as a woman, and wearing womens jeans, trousers, tops and shoes but not wearing skirts or dresses. I don't feel that I can really go for it until look a bit more physically feminine. I feel that there are certain things that need to be in place before I can take a substantial jump.

I think that hormone treatment would give me what I need to take the next step, softer skin and some subtle changes to my figure and possibly others?, so I went to see my GP about getting hormone treatment. She offered me no help whatsoever and even seemed to be deliberately unhelpful. She wouldn't even give me a referral and just told me to do my own research, so I have no idea now what to do from here.

Luckily I moved this weekend into a completely new area and have to sign up with a new GP. I feel somewhat trapped because I do not feel that I can move forward with out the hormone step but would like some advice on how to go about getting it and how to successfully communicate this to my doctor.

Any advice gratefully received.

Make sure you are wearing women's clothes when you go to the doctor's, or you may not be taken as seriously as you might hope.

A skirt is worth a thousand words where making a case for gender dysphoria is concerned. This is not to say that you must wear a skirt, or that you have to wear one, as the old Charing Cross myth had it, but it can only help.

If your GP is being unhelpful you could always try another? Are there several docs at the practice?

First thing is first: you own your transition, not anybody else.



In that way, feel free to disregard anything and everything I say, because you're the one calling the shots, we can only offer advice.

You say you are going full-time already, and yet have a difficulty passing. You need to ask yourself if this realy is a good idea. I've been in the position of a visible trans-person, and it's not the most fun I've ever had. 'Man in a dress' springs to mind. There's no rule to say that you have to go through hell in order to transition, so you might want to hold up until you pass either better or fully.

That said, it sounds like you're on the right track. Hair removal is important, and laser is probably the best to start out with. But, if you still have significant amounts of hair, it's going to make passing really really hard. Keep going with that, but don't forget that it takes time. I started hair removal two years ago, and still have some months left to go.

Hormones are so unbelievably important. Personally, I would start as soon as possible, and give them time to work. Without them, you're going to find it difficult to pass. I wouldn't necessarily bother going to your GP for them, as everything takes such a long time, and you sound like you're ready now. There are therapists out there who you can see privately, and who will prescribe you hormones after a couple of consultations. Alternatively, you can always buy them over the internet, it's actually quite safe, despite what some people make out.

Try to understand where you want to be, where you want to end up, and make it happen for yourself. Doctors and counsellors and surgeons are great resources, but they shouldn't stand in your way. Any GP who refuses to help or obstructs you is not worth the bother. Don't get medicalised, and don't get waylaid.

I hope you have a great transition.

Emma.



PS You're not dressing as a woman, you're dressing as you!

Hi Paula and welcome to tzone.

Paula33 wrote:

Hi, I am just starting with my transition and have been dressing as a woman full-time for about two weeks now at home and at work (gradually phased in) and am in the process of having laser hair removal on my face.

Firstly that is great news that you have been able to start dressing as female, this should certainly help build your confidence and self esteem. Have you approached your workplace about working as female there or are you just wearing womens clothes to work?

Paula33 wrote:

I went to see my GP about getting hormone treatment. She offered me no help whatsoever and even seemed to be deliberately unhelpful. She wouldn't even give me a referral and just told me to do my own research, so I have no idea now what to do from here.

Well I am surprised that your GP didn't take you seriously especially if you are wearing womens clothes fulltime already. I think that it is quite common for GPs to be unsure what to do.

When I first came out to my GP I booked the appointment and then wrote a letter to the GP(not too long) explaining my feelings about needing to transition and put in there a link to the NHS Direct about gender dysphoria. Doing this proved to my GP I had done some research myself and also gave the GP some time before my appointment to do some research themselves so they'd know what to do.

I wrote the letter and addressed it to the GP I was seeing and handed in person to the receptionist a week or so before my appointment and asked them to make sure the GP gets this letter. That way I knew it couldn't get lost in the post and the GP would read it and I wouldn't have to use up valuable appointment time explaining to the GP why I was there. When I arrived at my appointment my GP had read the letter and consulted with some collegues and done some research on gender dysphoria and was only too happy to refer me on to a local psychiatrist.

The usual route for getting treatment on the NHS is to see your GP first and then they will hopefully refer you to see a local psychiatrist who is not usually specialised in gender dysphoria but they will assess you and then hopefully refer you on to see a psychiatrist who specialises in gender dysphoria at a Gender Identity Clinic (GIC). Hormones can be prescribed usually after a seeing a second specialist psychiatrist after a second appointment at a GIC. There are lengthy waiting times inbetween psychiatrists appointments and it can take a while to get to the stage where you are prescribed hormones on the NHS.

http://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk/articles/article.aspx?articleId=435
^ NHS Direct ~ Gender Dysphoria

Alternatively you can go for private treatment. I believe a lot of people see Dr. Curtis who is a specialist in gender dysphoria.

http://www.transhealth.co.uk/
^ I quick search came up with this site which might be interesting.

I have gone down the NHS route myself so I don't know a great deal about private treatment. To see Dr. Curtis you don't need to see your GP you just need to make an appointment. Obviously though with private care you will have to pay for appointments. I'm not sure on his going rate though at the moment.

Many of the people on tzone see Dr. Curtis and will be able to tell you more about getting private treatment.

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Chrissy
Forums Moderator.

Always have faith and believe in yourself.
Never run from the truth.
Have the will to change your fate and your spirit will never die.
Check out the tzone team bios here: http://www.transgenderzone.com/bio.htm

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Chrissy
Forums Moderator.

Always have faith and believe in yourself.
Never run from the truth.
Have the will to change your fate and your spirit will never die.
Check out the tzone team bios here: http://www.transgenderzone.com/bio.htm

I walked away from my first psychiatrist's appointment with a diagnosis that "met ICD-10 criteria for transsexualism". I'd gone in boy mode.

My most recent visit, this time, to the Sandyford gender clinic in Glasgow, saw me dressed in mostly gender neutral clothing, only my shoes being the give-away.

I was motivated by the courage of my convictions in both cases.

Hormones are not to be taken lightly. I'd obtained my first over the internet and with no guarantee that they were genuine (they may have been rat poison for all I knew) I looked at the first one long and hard, thinking to myself "this might kill me", before washing it down with a glass of water.

Do take care. Caution, circumspection, informed prudence...

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I attended all my sessions with my GP, my counsellor and my doctor at the Sandyford in boy mode and wasn't taken any less seriously for it. My advice is to go in whatever feels comfortable for you. There's nothing worse than having to discuss what is already a very uncomfortable subject with a complete stranger when you yourself do not feel comfortable in how you're coming across.

In the end go with what you feel is best, if the GP is any good they'll be treating you based on how you feel and not treating you based on your appearence

*Hug*

Ren

Hi all, thanks to everyone for their advice. It's a difficult place to be in, held back by administration when all I want to do is get on with my life the way I want to.

However, I think that I will register with the new practice and find out who my doctor will be. I will also give the new doctor a letter in advance explaining my situation, so that they are prepared for my visit.

If I still do not get any joy at the new practice, I will consider Dr Curtis.

One more thing, although I have been dressing as a woman at work and I have spoken to my direct supervisor who has been very understanding. I haven't actually officially asked to be regarded as a woman, I still have my old male name (Paul). I've been thinking long and hard about it, and I don't know whether or not I should change my name before or after hormone treatment.It's a bit chicken egg, I don't know if I would feel comfortable with it yet, but at the same time I cannot know without actually doing it, if it is essential for progression.

Would anyone mind just telling me what their experience of this was. I feel that the name change would help in acknowledging and re-enforcing my change and my femininity but at the same time I don't want to be the subject of ridicule if I am doing it early. I am convinced of my own choice but the battle is getting others around me to accept it too and to look past the exterior.

I would like to add, that I have been told by quite a few people that I have a good foundation physically for my change, and whilst I do get people looking and sometimes staring, I haven't actually suffered a great deal of pointing and laughing (I hope that's not tempting fate!), so I must be doing something right, right? If anyone wants to take a look, I have a profile on Urnotalone.com where I am registered as GemJo (at time where I wasn't at all sure what to do with my name)

Thanks again to all those who have contributed with advice.

Paula

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The boobs are just a set of metaphors.

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The Daily Turnout - King of the Throne Room