LOL!! with the boxing match with satan?

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Black and Purple - compare me with anyone and you can see I'm just an individual with a free mind and a sense of dressing dark and gothic.

at the moment I'm pretty sad, I miss my uncle and aunty and my grandmother and nanna (all dead now) my uncle had bone marrow cancer and my aunty died from smoking, and my grandmother and nanna both got very sick and died too this was when I was 17 but my aunty died last year so when I wake up in the morning I find tears on my face must have cried in my sleep thinking about them, one of my grandfather who I never met because I wasn't born then has died from a car accedent and his lungs had internal bleeding *sigh* I miss them so much.

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Black and Purple - compare me with anyone and you can see I'm just an individual with a free mind and a sense of dressing dark and gothic.

I couple of days ago I found out my fucking doctor has delayed my appointment again till the 27th of August, I'm really fed up with this whole gender clinic in Melbourne

I AM NOT HAPPY!!!!

I feel like being the biggest psychotic bitch on this planet because I'm been taken for a ride by so called fuckwits who don't give a shit with their so called profession in gender dysphoria!

If they fuck me around for the last time I'll be getting a shotgun and I'll be expressing my anger in such a destructive way to straighten their fucking policy and treatment on me.

I hope they fucking die from their stupidness, good luck to them if they do.

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Black and Purple - compare me with anyone and you can see I'm just an individual with a free mind and a sense of dressing dark and gothic.

Sorry to hear that, Allison. Suggest you plug the axe in and let the neighbours know about it.

On the other hand...

BlackandPurple wrote:

If they fuck me around for the last time I'll be getting a shotgun and I'll be expressing my anger in such a destructive way to straighten their fucking policy and treatment on me.

I might have some work lined up for you.

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If music be the food of love, stand by for a good rogering

Hi Allison!

"Usually when people are sad they don't do anything, they just cry over their condition, but when they get angry they bring about a change."

MALCOM X

Thought this quote might be appropriate!!

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WRAITH:
A ghost or hallucination seen in one's own likeness

I'm really sorry to hear about this latest delay Allison, lets hope the 27th of August comes quickly for you.

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Chrissy
Forums Moderator.

Always have faith and believe in yourself.
Never run from the truth.
Have the will to change your fate and your spirit will never die.
Check out the tzone team bios here: http://www.transgenderzone.com/bio.htm

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Black and Purple - compare me with anyone and you can see I'm just an individual with a free mind and a sense of dressing dark and gothic.

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Black and Purple - compare me with anyone and you can see I'm just an individual with a free mind and a sense of dressing dark and gothic.

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Black and Purple - compare me with anyone and you can see I'm just an individual with a free mind and a sense of dressing dark and gothic.

Wow! time flys by it's almost August already, it's been one of the most coldest winters I've had in quite a few years, usualy it's not so cold but at about 4pm to 10pm it drops to about 3 or down to -2 degrees celceus at night time.

My bedroom is the coldest part of the house so I couldn't be bothed going on my PC much or do other things, ended up in the lounge room with the heater on all the time just to stay warm.

hopfuly some decent weather will pop up in a few months and then I'll be feeling more comfortable in my room to use the PC more often.

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Black and Purple - compare me with anyone and you can see I'm just an individual with a free mind and a sense of dressing dark and gothic.

I really don't like going to Melbourne, already I'm getting uneasy with all this shit mess I'm going to have to deal with, I feel like I wanna throw up.

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Black and Purple - compare me with anyone and you can see I'm just an individual with a free mind and a sense of dressing dark and gothic.

A poem I wrote -


Has my life been so great?
To know that I have a shitty fate.
To know that people smile.
That my soul is so very bile.
When you see into my face.
That my eyes show so much distaste.
When you know what I should be.
In this prison I'm not free.
That so much anger has come to me.

When people think about their true selves.
I always dwell so much on Hell.
My pain is my only friend.
Soon my life should suddenly end.

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Black and Purple - compare me with anyone and you can see I'm just an individual with a free mind and a sense of dressing dark and gothic.

The poem explains the situation with people Transitioning into their true self and being happy with themselves with the gender they are now have become, while I'm stuck with nothing but self blame and suicide for the rest of my life.

It's very sad and I know people have other things to think about rather than knowing my sorrows but depression has been kicking me in the face.

I feel that I should say goodluck to everyone with their SRS and stuff, and that I know that faliure for me has been the most common thing I've had to carry for the rest of my life.

If I fail my chances with the SRS I was thinking of de-transitioning or worse, because I take anymore of myself the way things are, I never had the guts to say this but I abuse myself badly by giving myself brusies and cuts and banging my head against a wall.

That's how SRS has become more and more serious for me, I'm loosing my patence and I could also be in hospital with a serious break down!

So i'm doing all my ability to stay calm and not worry but eventualy somthing will errupted out of me.

I never wanted to talk about this on Tzone but I figured my feelings had to be written, and I'm very sorry if nobody will believe me about this.

I have been blamed for many things through childhood to my adulthood by so many people who thinks it's funny to pick on sombody who is not like them.

I used to be highly anti-social and was always on my own I never had friends only had one friend in my whole life and he's gone now married and moved away.

Most of my realtionships were abusive and dissapointing and made me loose desire for intamacy I've become more detached from having any real friends at all and my social life is zero.

isn't life so fucking wonderful (sarcasm)

I highly recommend people not to be like me and drop dead some time very soon, it's a very unplesant life to lead.

but I can just say that not many people give a shit about me anyway.

(shruggs)

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Black and Purple - compare me with anyone and you can see I'm just an individual with a free mind and a sense of dressing dark and gothic.

I'm sorry to hear that your so depressed, Alison. I too have suffered, and still
do. I wish there was some advise I could give you that might make you feel a bit better. Unfortunately I don't have any.

I have a dog, and she is a great comfort to me and when I'm feeling down, spending some quality time with her really helps. Also I have found that you get to know other dog walkers. I've made friends with a couple of them.

Maybe a canine friend might be a help for you too.

HUGS

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It's Sunrise On The Sufferbus

Just had to get things on my blog up and running again and re-type the incident about being almost run off the road which I'll do later on when I have time.

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Black and Purple - compare me with anyone and you can see I'm just an individual with a free mind and a sense of dressing dark and gothic.