Outlet was started as a gay property service. No idea if they're any good or anything, but they have been going for a good number of years now (since the mid-90s), so I guess they must be doing something right.

Another place to look might be Gumtree - they're kinda alternative-ish, so you might be able to find something there. Or if there's any sort of alternative bookshop, health food co-operative, LGBT centre or anything like that in your area, they might have a notice board where people offer accommodation.

Good luck!

Dave

Dear Diary:

Tuesday: Did the rounds of the local estate agents. Every single one basically said if I am on government benefits, they aren't interested. Came home (to my friend's house) feeling depressed.

Wednesday: Went to the local council housing office. I am currently rated as band 3 (the bottom priority). Pointed out that my friend has given me a 1-week deadline to move out, which makes the priority they have given me kind of sucky. They basically said they will arrange a meeting in a week's time to discuss my situation in detail. Came home (to my friend's house) feeling depressed. I suggested to him it might be easier to get a job then find a place to live. he said he couldn't wait that long.

All I had eaten this day was 2 pieces of chocolate. I had been thinking so much about the housing issue that it made me forget about hunger sensations. I know I ate some curry the day before, since I made it myself. not sure if I ate anything else that day offhand. But basically, my diet has been kind of crappy from all the stress. This resulted in a fainting spell this evening. Just a brief one, but being as depressed as i was at this stage, i just lay there on the ground quietly crying. This was enough to make my friend call an ambulance, which took me to hospital.

While at the hospital, I received a text from him, saying he had put a chain on the door and that we would talk in the morning. In effect, I had no place to sleep that night. I managed to phone the salvation Army, and made the 2-hour walk to their house and slept there.

Thursday: Woke up to a phone call from him, suggesting I go back to my mum's home. this is Not An option(tm), due to her previously-stated views on transition. I stopped listening at that point. later I got a text from him saying he would hold onto my things for a month unless I contact him, then dispose of them.

I went to the council housing office again. Due to lack of sleep, food, and too much stress, I fainted again as i was trying to explain my situation. paramedics were called, and once I was coherent again, I tried to talk to someone. I got the "we aren't allowed to talk to you today" response when I went to the window, presumably because of my earlier, unintended histrionics. Security guard was called, who said i had to phone a certain number. I reminded him again that my battery on my phone was dead, so I couldn't call even if i want to, and that the person is in that very building, and that, being homeless and unemployed, I literally have nothing better to do all day than wait for the drone in question (not quite true). Cue a 3-hour wait.

At about 2pm I gave up and started the long walk to the clinic where I was due to see my psychiatrist for my second talk concerning tg/transition issues Can you say "bad timing? I knew you could! He took a read through the previous notes, asked some weird questions about dreams (colour or monochrome?), then threw it over to me. I asked for anti-depressants, T-blockers, and chromosome testing (for that xxy thing), He was like, yes, no, and yes, and that was that.

After that, I headed back to the town, wandered around the central park for a bit, then had a brainwave. I decided to find a church and a priest, and ask his advice. Seeing as my mum is quite religious, I felt it might give me some better insight into her feelings.

And on the way, I met a good Samaritan. Actually, an Iraqi, presumably in his fifties, and a recent immigrant judging from his choice of reading material. he offered me an orange and coffee, and had I stayed longer he would have offered me food, a place to sleep that night, a job, some cash, and first use of the next streetgirl he paid for. In between him kissing me on the head, saying he will be like a father to me, kissing me on each cheek, eye, and again on the head, and repeatedly pointing out that he is in no way gay and that we are both men, and men don't do that thing (I had no mind to point out I was wearing girl jeans and hosiery), i decided I'd be better off continuing my search for a priest.

The first two churches I found were closed down for the night. Third time lucky. It was Thursday night Charismatic Christian Evangelical Prayer Night. Or something like that anyway. Whether you are religious or not, it's interesting to meet such different people. They promised to arrange work and a place to live if I contact them again later. Phone numbers were exchanged.

They dropped me off at the Salvation Army. unfortunately, the church, not the hostel. So I walked. And when I got to Old Sal, they said they were full up. Apparently, they had told mum and my friend that I had a room booked, but I was a little too tired to think to ask for my room and give my name as a reservation.

They suggested I walk on down to the peace house, another similar place about a mile and a half down the road. When I got there, no one was answering the door.

I walked on to the nearest police station. By this time, I was exhausted, having walked a considerable distance, not slept much the previous night, not eaten anything all day, and it was cold, wet, and windy. I got in there, asked to make a phone call to that church group I met, but they weren't answering (it was late). So i sat down in a chair in their waiting room and slept. Or tried to.

Apparently, all day the housing office, my mum, and my friend had been throwing phone calls around, trying to trace my whereabouts. Not easy considering I was in no mood to contact any of them. From my point of view, the housing office was just evil incarnate, my friend had thrown me out, and mum is dead against transition. no particular reason to interact with any of them, let alone let them track me down.

Friday: About 3 am, the police woke me, and pointed out that it was a waiting room not a bedroom. it between fainting again, they gave me some food (first proper meal since Tuesday), and drove me to a local hotel, the plan being that I should phone my mum there, who would pay for the room with her credit card. They said they were full, and suggested I walk to another hotel in town, and gave me directions.

Rain-blind, half-frozen, barely conscious, I somehow made it back to that same hotel some time later. The guy at the front desk said I could sit in the waiting room until 5.30, when the cleaning crew would arrive.

Later, I had breakfast at McDonalds (8 am-ish), then walked over to the housing office again. I asked to speak to that person I was waiting for the previous day, only to be told that she had come down just minutes after I had left the previous day, but she would see me in about 15 minutes.

While there, she told me that they had contacted my mum, and since my mum was willing to have me back in her house, they would not get me housing under any circumstances. Apparently, my mum was also planning to come over (2 hours away by train), and would I speak to her. they also said my friend (the one who had kicked me out) wanted to speak to me.

The rest is kinda hard to explain. But to cut a long story short, I am, at least temporarily, once more in my friend's house. And mum now seems fairly convinced that I'd rather let myself die than not transition. I have no real idea where I'll be next week.



So, how was your week?

_________________
The boobs are just a set of metaphors.

Please be careful Herb. I personally think it might be best to move back to your mum's meantime. Being on the street is a very serious matter.

Best wishes.

_________________
It's Sunrise On The Sufferbus

You will be quickly destroyed if you carry on as you are.

You must accept whatever shelter you can get, or you could get into a situation from which you may not easily return. Try to get help from a social worker. If your council has an LGBT Support Worker, or someone similar, ask them for help. Act now, because if you become homeless, you will not have a postal address, 'phone, or email, and will find it hard to make contact and be contacted. Avoid alcohol.

Good Luck!

I agree with both Stella and Macdee. Having a shelter and a place to stay is I think the most important thing. When I became homeless several years ago I had to rely on the help from my mother to get back onto my feet, I didn't like to do it but realised that things were going to get a whole lot worse than they already were If I didn't.

Sometimes you have to accept help however it comes when you are in a fix, even if it means delaying your plans for transitioning. I don't fully understand everything about your situation but would you even have to delay your plans for transitioning if you accepted help from your mum? You've said that your mum is dead against you transitioning, does that mean that she wouldn't help you with her offer of a place to stay if she knows you are transitioning?

It seems like at worst you could delay your plans to transition until you are back on your feet. I'm not suggesting you should do that or have to do that, I don't know your situation fully. I delayed my decision to transition for a lot of reasons in the past and it was hard and part of me wishes I hadn't of delayed it but part of me also knows that when I did decide to transition I was probably much better prepared and ready to do that than I would have been had I tried to do it earlier.

Herb wrote:

The rest is kinda hard to explain. But to cut a long story short, I am, at least temporarily, once more in my friend's house. And mum now seems fairly convinced that I'd rather let myself die than not transition. I have no real idea where I'll be next week.

Have you had another talk with your mum about transitioning? Perhaps in the light of recent events she might not be so dead against it. I'm sure she wouldn't want to see you on the streets.

_________________
Chrissy
Forums Moderator.

Always have faith and believe in yourself.
Never run from the truth.
Have the will to change your fate and your spirit will never die.
Check out the tzone team bios here: http://www.transgenderzone.com/bio.htm

yes, mum came to Coventry, where we had that talk again. Between the fact I was wearing girl jeans, my room had quite a few girl things, and my actions, I think she could see I was pretty serious about it. I hadn't gotten any of those back when I was living in her house because I fully expected they'd be disappeared (just like my messenger bag, aka handbag, did for 6 months). Perhaps my lack of girl things persuaded her I wasn't serious before? hard to say.

For the next 2-3 months, until the CHX referral comes through officially, I want to remain in this PCT, which means Coventry. Longer term, I have been asking friends in other cities what they know of the housing and work situation in their local areas (this means you lot ).

_________________
The boobs are just a set of metaphors.

Herb, I don't know if it will be any help as my midlands geography tends towards " well it's all nearish to Birmingham" but the company I work for has units at Birmingham and Dudley, I'm not sure what contracts they run from there but I'll find out on Monday and then if you're interested I can let you know about getting an application.
They seem if not friendly at least Trans-tolerant and even if it's not the greatest job it'd at least be a step in the right direction

_________________
It's not what you're born with
It's what you choose to bear
It's not how big your share is
It's how much you can share
It's not the fights you dreamed of
It's those you really fought
It's not what you're given
It's what you do with what you've got

Herb asked me on msn to post this for her:

Quote:

Im at my mums house, its not a wise idea for me to log into any site thats gender-related from this computer. all transition stuff is on hold until i can move out again, but at least for now, i am alive and well

_________________
I look back at most of my life and think "WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?!??"

Glad To Hear your safe and well even if it is at your mums.

*edited cause it didnt make sense lol*

That's too bad. :/ I hope she can get out of there soon, then. I think I'd go insane if I couldn't at least get to sites like this one.

_________________
I'm like a shooting star, I've come so far, and can't go back to where I used to be

update:

I figured out how to clear the browser history on this shared computer. it's actually my (very old) computer on long term loan to my mum, and the only one connected to the net right now (the wireless dongle has gone missing while I was away).

I'm currently in stealth mode - the wrong stealth mode, unfortunetely. And it is riving me crazy.

_________________
The boobs are just a set of metaphors.

Brief update...

Today I had an appointment with a shrink. Apparently, the GID referral letter is being written and funding for me is being applied for. It's going ahead sooner than I really expected. Which is nice.

_________________
The boobs are just a set of metaphors.

Good Luck, Herb!

_________________
http://www.spinwatch.org/

Hello you up there

I've been catching up on this blog of yours...

Mike and i send our regards and are thinking of you...

You take care and keep in touch... drop us an email...

Denise
xxx

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Proud to help raise awareness of the T in LGBT...

www.deniseanderson.co.uk
http://denisejanderson.blogspot.com/
www.spectrumlondon.org.uk

Hi Denise,

I'm going to try and make the next meeting. Since my cousin was here, I'm in deeper stealth than I've ever been before, which meant not even going out to any events. He is leaving soon though.

The big issue surrounding transition is getting out from mum's house, which means getting a stable job. Once those two are sorted out, the rest is plain sailing I think. If you (or anyone) have any leads on those, they'd be greatly appreciated.

_________________
The boobs are just a set of metaphors.