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**PurplePrincess** · Advisor Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 2678 Location: Bristol

D&C wrote:

good luck with you appointment today Smile

Hehe thanks for the good luck message but it was only an informal chat to see how I am getting on. Everything is just ticking along at the moment so I didn't have much to say but that didn't stop me filling up half an hour chatting about allsorts of rubbish, lol.

I had an early afternoon appointment this time so had to get to the train station later than most of my previous appointments. I arrived at the train station and had a real panic on as the long stay carpark was full, eeeeep with my train arriving in less than an hour what was I going to do? I drove through this building part which was on the way to the exit and I thought that inside was for staff cars but it turns out it was for the public but more expensive, £11 a day Surprised

. I noticed a space and so drove inside only to find that I couldn't get out of my car, oh no! Luckily there was one more space left and I got it, phew. I got out of the car and then realised I needed more change, an attendant came over and asked if I needed some help, I think I was looking a little flustered, lol. I do find since transitioning that guys are far more likely to ask me if I need help, lol. Anyway I told him that I just needed some more change, he said "try the ticket office and tell them I sent you over". I needed some sandwiches anyway so I went to the local shop and came back. The attendant was there still and chatted to me again, showed me how to use the ticket machine, lol. Just because I am a woman it doesn't mean I am stupid, lol I told me that he was giving a ticket to the owner of the car that went over the lines, by the space I tried to park in earlier, I think the attendant must have seen me try to park in there.

I felt quite relieved once I had got parked up safely and was on the train. I do have a fear of being late for things and I am notorious for allowing a ridiculous amount of time for things to go wrong, but I am getting better these days. But when it came over the intercom that there would be a delay because of signalling problems, the panic started to settle inside. Luckily it was only 10 minutes, phew. It was lunch time when I was walking up Fulham Palace road and the whole pavement was full of school kids going to the local takeaways for lunch, I'd never seen it so busy before. I was going to relax a while in a nearby park but there were loads of kids in there, so nowhere to sit. I was only just over half an hour early this time so I thought I would wander up.

Oh yeah one really embarrassing thing happened, when I got inside the clinic I went into the toilet and the folding door was hiding the light switch and it was dark inside and by instinct I pulled on this cord and it set an alarm off, lol. The toilet was also a disabled one and the cord was obviously for disabled people in trouble on the toilet. The receptionist came out in a rush and I had to explain that it was me by accident. She said that I caused a mini panic in the reception area, lol.

Anyway as I said my RLE is ticking along nicely, nothing really to say about it. I think I've done about 14 months now although it's very hard now to imagine life before. The psych seemed happy that things are going well for me and he said that next time we'll talk more about surgery and then after that I'll have an appointment with Dr. Lenihan for a second opinion about surgery. (Dr.Lenihan is who I saw for my second opinion for HRT) They usually assign a psych to you and then another one for second opinions and they try to make sure you see the same ones as they know you better.

So I'm not due back now 'till the end of January next year, 3 days before my birthday, lol. Next time will be a more important chat but I feel confident that things will work out for me Smile

.

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**thedreadpersephone** · Advisor Joined: 09 Feb 2007 Posts: 913 Location: Dundee

Don't worry about the toilet thing, I bet it happens all the time. At work we have disabled toilets in reception and the lights are supposed to come on automatically. Sometimes they don't come on unless you wave your arms around near the ceiling (how you're supposed to do that from a wheelchair I really don't know) so people pull the emergency cord thinking it's the light switch.

I'm glad to hear things are still going well for you transition-wise.

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**Alan314159** · Advisor Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 389

PurplePrincess wrote:

when I got inside the clinic I went into the toilet and the folding door was hiding the light switch and it was dark inside and by instinct I pulled on this cord and it set an alarm off, lol.

I bet you're not the first or the last person to do that, though. At least the cord could plausibly have been for the light - in the garden centre where my sister works, customers keep pressing a button that they assume opens the automatic doors (er, they're automatic... just walk up to them Confused

).
It's actually the fire alarm. Yes, it's big, red, has a picture of a burning building and says "Fire alarm" on it, but we must be a bit inbred or something round these parts, because it gets set off quite regularly.

Glad you were on time for your appointment.

**Joel E.** · Posted: Sun Sep 28, 2008 11:31 pm Post subject:

PurplePrincess wrote:

Next time will be a more important chat but I feel confident that things will work out for me Smile

.

It's good to see that confidence and see smiley faces on you blog again.

Joel

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**PurplePrincess** · Advisor Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 2678 Location: Bristol

thedreadpersephone wrote:

I'm glad to hear things are still going well for you transition-wise.

Thanks, just can't wait until January now, well I do look forward to all my appointments, each one is a step closer.

Joel E. wrote:

It's good to see that confidence and see smiley faces on you blog again.

Awww thanks Joel, sometimes a lot doesn't happen in my life and then I find I write more about when I don't feel good as writing it down helps and sometimes when I feel good about things I end up not writing about it.

I met up with LilFae on Sunday night and that was fun Smile

. We've been chatting for a bit on MSN before and she is pretty local so we were going to meet in a coffee shop and maybe see a movie but she didn't have a lot of money so I brought round a film to watch at her place. We watched 'You, Me & Dupree', I do love that film, I'd watch anything with Owen Wilson in though, lol. It was nice to get out of the house and socialise and nice to get some compliments on how I look and sound, that's always good Smile

.

I've been enjoying not having to wear my scarf this week but next week is looming. There are always a lot of new people starting where I work, they usually last about 2 days on the agency. I'm sure some of them have that look on their faces that says "is that a guy or a girl?" when they see me. I think though that when they hear me speak and see me without all my layers on when I'm in the canteen they settle for girl, well I hope so.

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**PurplePrincess** · Advisor Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 2678 Location: Bristol

Well I arrived at work today and was walking through one part of the warehouse to get to where they have my daily brief and a guy called me over. He said there was something he's wanted to ask me recently, he said "have you been given different hormones?" I said I haven't but then explained they did start giving me the Zoladex implant and then I asked why he was asking. He told me that my bust looks like it's been getting a lot bigger recently. He was nice about how he said and he said that he didn't want to embarrass me that's why he waited to ask when I was alone. He said that my figure was starting to look a lot more feminine and things must be really working for me.

Having him say that did make me feel really good Very Happy

. I've noticed more people recently look at me when I'm in the canteen with all my layers off. Maybe they have noticed too and are thinking wow Chrissy is starting to look nicer. I don't mind my colleagues talking to me about my transition, although most never say a word about it. I still wasn't expecting this guy to tell me this, lol. Every now and then though when someone sees me by myself they do ask about how things are going with my transition, I had another guy today talk to me about it. He said that before I was so much more grumpy and miserable and now I am much more chatty and happy and am always laughing.

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Chrissy
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Always have faith and believe in yourself.
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**PurplePrincess** · Advisor Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 2678 Location: Bristol

The wonderful union where I work just finished negotiations with management over pay talks and have agreed an annual pay rise of 4% no strings attached, it still has to be voted for by the members but in the current climate with the company tightening their belts considerably in all areas I feel it's a pretty good deal Smile

. For me it will mean just under a thousand pounds a year extra although with energy prices going up like about 20% things are still going to be tough Sad

.

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**PurplePrincess** · Advisor Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 2678 Location: Bristol

So, annoyed with myself, I didn't set my alarm this morning so I've woken at midday, I must have needed it. I do this so often on a Saturday, my work is very tiring and feels even more so now I don't have the strength I used to have. I just hate wasting my days off. Then to top it all off it took me an hour to find my tweezers and they turned up next to my computer in front of my very eyes.

I've got to do laundry, housework and food shopping and I was hoping to do some clothes shopping (fun shopping) too but I'm not going to have time by the time I get ready. It takes me so long to get ready and sometimes I don't even look great with all the effort I put in, lol. When I rush around it takes at least an hour and I only tend to rush when I know I've got to get to work, on a Saturday I really take my time, lol. Just looked out of the window, it's starting to rain, I really need to get a new umbrella, my last one is completely dead now.

I guess I need to find my motivation and get moving and stop procrastinating here, lol. Hope you are all having a nice day, it does seem dead in here.

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**Reenie** · Reporter Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 3577 Location: Glasgow

Thanks for reminding me about the laundry. Smile

Tweezers are always by the computer.

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**PurplePrincess** · Advisor Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 2678 Location: Bristol

Reenie wrote:

Thanks for reminding me about the laundry. Smile

Tweezers are always by the computer.

You're welcome Reenie, and I'll remember that the tweezers are always by the computer, hehe. There maybe some logic in that actually as the computer chair is by the window and I always recline on the chair and hold up a mirror and use the light from the window to see to do my eyebrows, the bathroom light is useless for that.

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Chrissy
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Always have faith and believe in yourself.
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sallystark · Joined: 13 Sep 2008 Posts: 41 Location: hampshire,uk

lol,im not alone,my tweezers are by my computor too,along with my magnifying mirror.

**Reenie** · Reporter Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 3577 Location: Glasgow

Nothing to do with the light here...

The telly's a 90 degree swivel to the right from the computer so I can watch that from my comfy chair. The tweezers are there so I can tackle my nostril hairs while the adverts are on. Sorry if that's TMI. Very Happy

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**Ren** · Advisor Joined: 11 Feb 2007 Posts: 136

Speaking of Umbrellas, I bought a new one the other day. Turns out I bought *too* big of an umbrella and I can't really walk down a street without hitting a lampost or decapitating someone Wink

Congrats on the payrise! =D

Love and Flat Moving

Ren x

**PurplePrincess** · Advisor Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 2678 Location: Bristol

I've been feeling quite down this week. I really hate hiding behind a scarf. I haven't even felt like moaning about it in my blog up until now. I have felt pretty good today though Smile

. I visited my local salon before work. I really don't like going there with facial hair but the owner gave me an appointment before he officially opens so I'd be the only one in there. What I didn't bank on was there was a new young lad working in there, I felt a little embarrassed and was wondering if he could see it, hopefully not.

Anyway I had my hair permed again and I love it Smile

, well worth a bit of embarrassment. My stylist said he couldn't see the facial hair anyway when I discreetly asked, yeah I know I am a bit silly, lol. I always feel on top of the world after leaving the salon and so that gave me a big lift all day today, enough to beat the depression of having to hide behind my scarf. Perhaps I'll take some more pictures sometime soon.

Well electrolysis day tomorrow, one more scarf day and I can feel human again, what a relief that will be. I'm looking forward to Saturday so so much.

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Chrissy
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Always have faith and believe in yourself.
Never run from the truth.
Have the will to change your fate and your spirit will never die.
Check out the tzone team bios here: http://www.transgenderzone.com/bio.htm

opossum · Joined: 26 Jun 2007 Posts: 76 Location: Teesside

Sorry to hear that you feel low.

There will be a time Chrissy when you won't need the scarf even before electrolysis. Definitely a confidence issue as It took the beauty therapist to suggest it. I was as paranoid as ever for a while after ditching the scarf. My concern is still the after effects of electrolysis on the day itself, but I don't hear any comments afterwards.

I've been suffering from a cold this last week and went to work without make-up for the first time since transition. Nobody batted an eyelid and I still received "Luv" etc from those contractors, who are new to the site.

Looking forward to an hours session of electrolysis myself tomorrow.

Good luck,

Mel