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**PurplePrincess** · Advisor Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 2544 Location: Bristol

The other day I got a little upset because one of the women in the canteen called me sir, I guess since then I've been on my guard, ready to complain if someone does it again. Today though I arrived at the counter in the canteen for lunch and they guy serving me called me madam at the end of every sentence, so I got about 10 madams, lol, and he was extremely polite, I think he is one of the canteen managers. So I left the counter with a smile on my face today Smile

.

I wonder if they have read my blog, lol, (joking). It just seemed like the guy was making an extra effort with me today, perhaps he heard that the woman called me sir by mistake last week, or perhaps he was just in a jolly mood today.

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Chrissy
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**PurplePrincess** · Advisor Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 2544 Location: Bristol

I phoned to cancel my appointment at the hair salon today, I'd realised that I made the appointment for the same day as my electrolysis appointment. I certainly can't do both on the same day as before electrolysis I have a beard and after I have a red mess on my face until the next day. I just couldn't go to the hair salon in either of those states. Anyway so I rang the salon this morning and said that I'd have to cancel my appointment on friday. I decided to rebook another appointment but unfortunately they were fully booked for weeks. The guy I was speaking to is the owner and also the guy that usually does my hair and he said that thursday I could come to the salon before they open and he would fit me in then, how nice is that?

I was doing some order picking at work today and one of my colleagues approached me and he says to me "Don't be offended but I want to ask you something, if it's too personal then you don't have to answer". I started to wonder then what the hell he was going to ask me, so I worriedly replied "ok then, go on, what do you want to ask?" It turned out that he only wanted to ask me questions about hair removal. He is a body builder and he hates body hair and always waxes but he wants something more permanent and he was considering laser treatment. I was relieved when I realised that's all it was. A few people at work do seem a little paranoid about saying the wrong things to me. I guess it's nice, I'd much rather that than people being rude. The people at work are so nice though.

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Susan · Joined: 27 Jun 2008 Posts: 79 Location: Cardiff

I'm so glad the canteen issue seems to be resolved without you having done anything, I felt so bad for you after reading your post about it. Couldn't really think of anything appropriate to post at the time that didn't sound trite, you seem like such a lovely woman.

Seems like the canteen lady realised her mistake and mentioned it to her manager, unless you mentioned it in the office and someone may have told her. Either way it's great you had a good day Smile

Nice of the salon manager too, he obviously values your custom at least Smile

Can't wait until my hair grows back long enough to do all that stuff, was really hard when I cut it off years ago Crying or Very sad

...and I think a body builder coming to you for advice, and so careful not to offend is a fantastic compliment and shows how well regarded you are at work Smile

**PurplePrincess** · Advisor Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 2544 Location: Bristol

Susan wrote:

Seems like the canteen lady realised her mistake and mentioned it to her manager, unless you mentioned it in the office and someone may have told her. Either way it's great you had a good day Smile

I didn't mention it, but anyway I am glad about it.

Susan wrote:

Nice of the salon manager too, he obviously values your custom at least Smile

Yes, the salon manager is wonderful, he's so friendly and helpful and the salon is only 2 minutes walk from where I live too.

Susan wrote:

Can't wait until my hair grows back long enough to do all that stuff, was really hard when I cut it off years ago Crying or Very sad

Awwwww, how long is it now? It does seem to take ages to grow when you desperately want it to be longer.

Susan wrote:

...and I think a body builder coming to you for advice, and so careful not to offend is a fantastic compliment and shows how well regarded you are at work Smile

The people I work with are really decent people, I'm sure it's taken some of the stress out of transitioning. I really don't like my actual job that much, it's long hours and hard work and pretty tiring but I certainly want to stay there for the next few years at least as the people are so nice and the management so helpful and understanding.

I went to pick up my prescription this morning, I am so disorganised sometimes, I needed my prescription today and I was hoping that the Dr. had left it for me at the surgery, thankfully though it was there. I am a bit annoyed though they are still making out my prescription to Mr. Christina. I always take my prescription to the chemists next door and today when I took it in there the lady pointed out that they had made a mistake with my title, and she added "I think you'd better get that changed." I think I'll have a word with my GP about it. My GP has already changed my gender that comes up on the screen when I go in for appointments, I thought my prescription would be changed as well. It is a bit embarrassing to have a Mr. on my prescription. At least they had enough for the whole prescription this time, usually they end up filling half of it and giving me a note for the other half and I have to come back on another day for that.

Electrolysis day tomorrow, god do I hate wearing a scarf all week, I'll be glad when it's Saturday. I've got to do some car hunting on Saturday too, strangely I'm feeling a little nervous about it, I don't know why.

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Chrissy
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Always have faith and believe in yourself.
Never run from the truth.
Have the will to change your fate and your spirit will never die.
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Susan · Joined: 27 Jun 2008 Posts: 79 Location: Cardiff

PurplePrincess wrote:

Awwwww, how long is it now? It does seem to take ages to grow when you desperately want it to be longer.

Too short! Only about 3 inches long at the moment heh, but then I only recently started growing it again. It'll take a long time to get to a decent length, I have really wavy/curly hair... I'm talking free perm here! So it needs to be long enough to start weighing itself down, and it fights off product with a frenzy until then Razz

PurplePrincess wrote:

The people I work with are really decent people, I'm sure it's taken some of the stress out of transitioning. I really don't like my actual job that much, it's long hours and hard work and pretty tiring but I certainly want to stay there for the next few years at least as the people are so nice and the management so helpful and understanding.

Sounds like a great place to transition, I think I'll probably be in a similar position but I'm worried about it, human beings do have an alarming tendency to go against expectations Razz

PurplePrincess wrote:

I went to pick up my prescription this morning, I am so disorganised sometimes, I needed my prescription today and I was hoping that the Dr. had left it for me at the surgery, thankfully though it was there. I am a bit annoyed though they are still making out my prescription to Mr. Christina. I always take my prescription to the chemists next door and today when I took it in there the lady pointed out that they had made a mistake with my title, and she added "I think you'd better get that changed." I think I'll have a word with my GP about it. My GP has already changed my gender that comes up on the screen when I go in for appointments, I thought my prescription would be changed as well. It is a bit embarrassing to have a Mr. on my prescription. At least they had enough for the whole prescription this time, usually they end up filling half of it and giving me a note for the other half and I have to come back on another day for that.

Ick! I have personal experience of systems development in the NHS, and most of what I saw was an unrestrained mess. Your GP probably assumed the same as you and didn't consider it wouldn't be changed on the prescription system. Bet they'll sort it with the minimum of fuss, but I'm sure stuff like that is just mortifying. I can only imagine at the moment and I bet it doesn't come close.

PurplePrincess wrote:

Electrolysis day tomorrow, god do I hate wearing a scarf all week, I'll be glad when it's Saturday. I've got to do some car hunting on Saturday too, strangely I'm feeling a little nervous about it, I don't know why.

Not looking forward to all that stuff, been looking up different methods of hair removal and nothing I've read indicates how 'permanent' any of the treatments are after you've finished the full course. Been bugging my GP about a mole on my neck, I keep catching it while shaving and while that concerns me, the damn thing makes it near impossible to have a clean shave Sad

She seems reluctant to get it removed though, think I need to start being a bit pushier lol.

All I can say about car shopping is - take a male friend, especially one who knows how to get a decent deal. Maybe it's just South Wales, but around here they tend to treat women like second class citizens. Not in their manner, I just mean they're less likely to give a female a good deal, with the exception of one place I know in Bridgend.

Noticed you're in Bristol Smile

I was there not too long ago, went to the Carling Academy to see My Morning Jacket. Not keen on that place, was really dirty. No joke, I thought my shoes were going to be pulled off my feet the foyer carpet was so tacky! -.- Used to frequent Bristol fairly often though quite a few years ago, it's a pretty fun place. Although I'd rather drive around London than Bristol Razz

**PurplePrincess** · Advisor Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 2544 Location: Bristol

Susan wrote:

PurplePrincess wrote:

Awwwww, how long is it now? It does seem to take ages to grow when you desperately want it to be longer.

Too short! Only about 3 inches long at the moment heh, but then I only recently started growing it again. It'll take a long time to get to a decent length, I have really wavy/curly hair... I'm talking free perm here! So it needs to be long enough to start weighing itself down, and it fights off product with a frenzy until then Razz

I wish I had naturally curly hair, mine is naturally straight but I had it permed about 6 months ago. Most people with curly hair want straight hair, I think it's a bit of the grass is always greener type thing, lol. I remember years ago I had my head shaved really short, because it was easier to wear wigs, at the time I wanted to grow it rather keep wearing wigs but there is that awful in between stage when your hair is too short to put in a really feminine style but too long to make wearing a wig a realistic option. I do really feel for the girls that have lost their hair and do wear wigs, you can get some fantastic wigs these days but I really love having my own hair. I think it took my hair about a year to grow from a shaved head to having my fringe that was chin level. I wasn't out at work whilst I was growing it and did I ever get some stick about it.

Susan wrote:

Sounds like a great place to transition, I think I'll probably be in a similar position but I'm worried about it, human beings do have an alarming tendency to go against expectations Razz

It's only natural to worry about coming out at work. Before I came out at work I felt pretty confident that things would be ok but that didn't stop me from having quite a few sleepless nights over it. People can surprise you though, a lot of people came to me at work to offer some supportive words, quite a few that previously never really talked to me. I had people that had made some quite colourful remarks about me growing my hair apologise for their previous behaviour and it seemed I became even more liked and respected. It wasn't all great though, some people that I used to talk to and sit with at lunch didn't want to be around me for a while and kind of avoided me. I'd say overall the reaction was pretty good from people. Of course some of my colleagues have taken a fair bit of time to adapt how they think of me and how they see me, it's only natural for it to take a bit of time with some people. It is a stressful period but I think having a blog and a lot of good friends here on tzone really helped.

PurplePrincess wrote:

I am a bit annoyed though they are still making out my prescription to Mr. Christina.

Susan wrote:

Bet they'll sort it with the minimum of fuss, but I'm sure stuff like that is just mortifying. I can only imagine at the moment and I bet it doesn't come close.

Well I hope they can sort it out without too much fuss. I know a lot of tzone members have had the same problem. Of course the NHS has no problems with my gender being female. I think where the problems lie is my physical body, although I may have some female secondary sex characteristics my primary sex characteristics are still male and cannot be changed without surgery. I think therefore the NHS want to record that my body started out physically male perhaps because it could react differently to a body that started out physically female regarding any medications or things like that. So I think people have had problems with the NHS wanting to retain the original gender marker on computer systems for medical reasons.

I do remember the first local psychiatrist I saw at a local hospital about my gender dysphoria, it was before I had legally changed my name and I was dressed as female, wearing a skirt too and I was in the waiting room chatting to a guy. The guy I was chatting to could have been there for anything, I was thinking great, I think I am passing well today. Then the psychiatrist came out and called me in, by my male name. I do remember wanting the ground to swallow me up there and then, it was a horrible feeling. It's not such a mortifying experience having a Mr on my prescription by a long way, I think most people would see it as a mistake, of course it could also be a give away that I am trans. I'm not the sort of person that I want to hide all evidence of being trans, I don't necessarily want to let people know unless I have to either.

I have had a few interesting situations where I have had to explain myself, the person I am explaining myself to usually are more embarrassed than me though, lol. I remember last year renewing my season ticket for my local football team and having to explain to the lady that the details she had on her computer are mine but I changed my forenames and am a Miss now instead of a Mr. I think during transition it is inevitable that you'll have to explain things to a few people, the first time I had to explain things it was hard but it got easier. Of course though everyone hopes that eventually you won't have to ever explain yourself.

Susan wrote:

Not looking forward to all that stuff, been looking up different methods of hair removal and nothing I've read indicates how 'permanent' any of the treatments are after you've finished the full course.

It's not nice and I put it off for so long and really I wish I had started hair removal before living full-time as a woman. My advice would be, the earliest you can start hair removal the better. I am having electrolysis because it's the only type that works on blonde hair. Electrolysis is painful and a slow process but the most stressful aspect is that I need to grow the hair to a certain length for it to be zapped. So for 5 days before my appointment I can't shave it and I have taken to wearing a scarf that week, in all weathers Sad

. Facial hair is a dead give away and being a woman with a beard is not nice at all, the week I wear the scarf I get so stressed out and a little short tempered. If you have dark hair then IPL or laser will work which is a much quicker process and I think you don't have to grow the hair either (not sure on that though) Most people find that they need to finish up getting the light hairs that are left with electrolysis though.

I don't know much about IPL (intense pulsed light) and laser treatments as I knew they wouldn't work for me and so didn't research them. I know that electrolysis is permanent, although each hair may need to be zapped more than once to destroy it for good. At the rate I'm having electrolysis I think I might be having it for a couple of years before I'm done Sad

. I'm only having one session a fortnight because I need to have one week in two where I can live and not need to hide behind a scarf.

Susan wrote:

All I can say about car shopping is - take a male friend, especially one who knows how to get a decent deal.

I wish I could but local friends are in short supply for me right now.

Susan wrote:

Noticed you're in Bristol Smile

I was there not too long ago, went to the Carling Academy to see My Morning Jacket. Not keen on that place, was really dirty. No joke, I thought my shoes were going to be pulled off my feet the foyer carpet was so tacky! -.- Used to frequent Bristol fairly often though quite a few years ago, it's a pretty fun place. Although I'd rather drive around London than Bristol Razz

I've never been to the Carling Academy, sounds like a place where people learn to drink lager, lol Yes my sense of humour is awful Smile

. I have heard of the place though. I do love living in Bristol and I can't wait for the new £500 million pound Cabot Circus shopping area to be finished, I think it's going to be something quite special. As for driving in Bristol, in a recent survey the average speed of traffic is the slowest in the country, slower than London. Driving in Bristol can be a real pain, but the public transport is awful and unreliable.

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Chrissy
Forums Moderator.

Always have faith and believe in yourself.
Never run from the truth.
Have the will to change your fate and your spirit will never die.
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Susan · Joined: 27 Jun 2008 Posts: 79 Location: Cardiff

Thank you for the advice hun Smile

PurplePrincess wrote:

I've never been to the Carling Academy, sounds like a place where people learn to drink lager, lol Yes my sense of humour is awful Smile

. I have heard of the place though.

Yeah it's an odd name Smile

You'd think a place called that would serve a decent Carling too, especially at £3.40 a pint Shocked

, but it was like stale dishwater. Dad wasn't impressed at all lol. Really nice little pub just outside it though Smile

**PurplePrincess** · Advisor Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 2544 Location: Bristol

On my way out today I checked my mail and I had a letter, and this is the sad part, lol, I recognised that it was from Charing Cross GIC before even opening it, lol. How did I know that? Well, I recognise the envelopes they use and also the post mark. I started wondering as I opened it what it could be, I was thinking, I don't think I am expecting a letter from them, perhaps they have rearranged my next appointment I thought. Anyway I unfolded the letter and then realised what it was. It was a copy of the letter they had written to the passport people for me. I'd forgotten about that, I'll be able to apply for my passport now Very Happy

.

I feel quite excited about being able to get a passport, I remember getting my new driving licence and national insurance card and I felt over the moon, lol. I think when I finally get a passport then that will feel even better. That reminds me that I haven't booked my train journey to London yet for my next appointment in Sept. I found out the other day that if you try to book too far in advance they don't sell you the cheap tickets, but book too late and all the cheap seats are gone.

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Chrissy
Forums Moderator.

Always have faith and believe in yourself.
Never run from the truth.
Have the will to change your fate and your spirit will never die.
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Stella Maru · Joined: 11 Feb 2007 Posts: 2248 Location: Brighton

That is good news, Chrissy, and another milestone on your way. Smile

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Laura Danielle · Joined: 26 Apr 2008 Posts: 30 Location: USA (GMT-7)

That's wonderful news, Chrissy! I hope that your passport will be many a splendrous thing for you.

Susan · Joined: 27 Jun 2008 Posts: 79 Location: Cardiff

Grats Chrissy Smile

SkaalFa · Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 10:31 am Post subject:

Nice one!

**PurplePrincess** · Advisor Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 2544 Location: Bristol

Quite recently I started going to my local nail salon and I had some acrylic nails done. I had grown my nails before quite long a few times and they always ended up breaking, I have read about the pros and cons of acrylic nails and decided that's what I wanted to have. Since getting them I have really loved them, of course I have to go back for rebalancing every 2-3 weeks but I really enjoy being pampered and chatting to the nail technician.

I hadn't used any nail polish on them because I hadn't got around to buying an acetone free remover. I finally got a decent remover the other day and so I painted my nails tonight. Well, I am a bit rubbish with my left hand still and they looked ok but not as good as I wanted. I decided to remove the polish but after I did I lost the shine on my nails Sad

, the acrylic normally has a shine to it. I guess I could put on some gloss, I just wonder why the shine went.

Also I have booked a test drive for this Sunday. I know some people might think me crazy for wanting a new car but I really do. I am sick of the junk-boxes I have been driving since I passed my test, which is 16 years ago now Surprised

. So I am going to test drive a Honda Jazz, I am quite excited about it but feeling a little nervous too, I've never test drove a car before. I do worry that being close to someone in a car for a while that they will notice I am trans and they might get all uncomfortable about it. I guess I do worry unnecessarily sometimes, after all I bet the only thing they will be interested in is selling me a car. I also worry about someone watching my driving, lol. I am quite a slow and cautious driver and it does annoy me and make me feel a little nervous when people are hanging on to my tail because I'm not going fast enough for them.

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Chrissy
Forums Moderator.

Always have faith and believe in yourself.
Never run from the truth.
Have the will to change your fate and your spirit will never die.
Check out the tzone team bios here: http://www.transgenderzone.com/bio.htm

**thedreadpersephone** · Advisor Joined: 09 Feb 2007 Posts: 904 Location: Dundee

Hi Chrissy. It's nice to catch up with all your news. I've not been around much lately, and my mssnger isn't working even when I am on the computer to use it.

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George · Joined: 07 Oct 2007 Posts: 243 Location: Devon

PurplePrincess wrote:

Also I have booked a test drive for this Sunday. I know some people might think me crazy for wanting a new car but I really do. I am sick of the junk-boxes I have been driving since I passed my test, which is 16 years ago now Surprised

. So I am going to test drive a Honda Jazz, I am quite excited about it but feeling a little nervous too, I've never test drove a car before. I do worry that being close to someone in a car for a while that they will notice I am trans and they might get all uncomfortable about it. I guess I do worry unnecessarily sometimes, after all I bet the only thing they will be interested in is selling me a car. I also worry about someone watching my driving, lol. I am quite a slow and cautious driver and it does annoy me and make me feel a little nervous when people are hanging on to my tail because I'm not going fast enough for them.

A good trick is to ask if they will sell you the demonstrator - that way you get an almost brand new car with full warranty but for way less than list price (I got over £2000 off mine)

Try not to worry about the test drive - like you said they are mostly worried about selling you a car not your driving ability. When I was test driving cars the Seat dealer just handed me the keys and let me go out on my own! Also I was outed several times on the search for my new car (damned voice) and no one had any problems with me at all - in the end they all want your business and cars arent selling well at the moment

The Honda Jazz is a great car - hope you enjoy it!