Claudia maybe you could speak to your GP about your feelings
your extreme swings and timely gaps may be due to a bi polar condition
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/bipolar.cfm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_disorder
i am glad to see you back again and that you are 'well' remember its important to us that you remain that way and making frightening statements can seriously distress your friends on here so please think about them and their feelings in future
as we wouldnt want to tip anyone else here over the edge
you are slim beautiful and you have a very feminine body frame and face shape - i am jealous of your build - trust me
i am more of your prop forward type
so when you have doubts in future count your blessings first ok
often people make these statements because of the clichéd 'cry for help' - but here you already have us all on your side and we really do care about your and what happens to you
so please even if you dont want to post here from time to time please at least contact a friend like Kenneth and tell him or someone here that you are ok
Ok

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Man [...] must count no one but himself; that he is alone, abandoned on earth in the midst of his infinite responsibilities, without help, with no other aim than the one he sets himself, with no other destiny than the one he forges for himself on this earth." (Jean Paul Sartre, 1943)
