You people scare me. Am I in a mad house or what?

I'm a serial killer on Wednesday afternoons. And I am a compulsive shop-lifter of anything that has letter "R" on its wrapper.

I do have asperger syndrome and it makes me feel horrible, I've always been bullied because of my condition and ended up anti-social and just doing things all on my own, I was never good at making friends although I wish I was good at it, and also without knowing as a small child I also suffered from gender dysphoria especialy in my early to late teens, so things came abit later for me inlife especialy lerning at school my education didn't work out very well so I had my mum help me do schooling at home because the teachers would not support my lerning problems (I'm a slow lerner at the time and still am abit in my late twenties)

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Misery is my company, why do I stand out from the rest of the people around me.

Touch wood I don't think I have any other disorders. I've had depression in the past but that's not an issue at the moment. Also at one stage I thought I maybe had aspergers, but I think most of that was actually the gender dysphoria showing.

Physically speaking I have a genetic visual handicap which isn't bad enough to count as being partially-sighted but is enough that I'll never be allowed to drive. Which is too bad, because I've wanted a motorbike since I was a kid.

Aside from that I'm pretty healthy both physically and mentally.

==Steve.

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The Alchemical Boy

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"...risk something, take back whats yours, say something that you know they might attack you for..."

I know exactly what you mean nathan, I still have problems with being anxious around big crowds of people, I used to be on the path of destruction and pretty much blamed myself as a faliure and a looser, I used to throw very agressive tantrums, and I did see a psychiatrist who tried to understand my problems, when I did come out as Allison he thought I was not going to make it as a woman until I went to see him and he was shocked at how feminine I looked and he just smiled and sat back in his chair,I wasen't diagnosed with asperger syndrome until I was 5 but it was strange that they didn't find out I also had GD I guess it never crossed their minds, I did have feelings of wanting to be a girl but I wasen't able to fully understand it myself, I remember a christmas long ago there was a soft toy I wanted so much yet my mum said "this is a girl's toy" I didn't care I just wanted it, the gender psyche I've seen said at the conference that there is a possible link to AS and GD, I've never seen others who have the condition that has a desire to change sex so I don't really know.

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Misery is my company, why do I stand out from the rest of the people around me.

"If playing with girls toys is discouraged, tendency to draw or doodle feminine things or "pretty ladies" which are identified with (for biological males with similar but reversed for girls)"

this was what I did with my time as a young teen.


"Poor educational performance, below what one might expect of them."

yep that happend to me too


"Obsessive with Hobbies/pastimes - when doing things they really enjoy they can sometimes over-immerse themselves in them as displacement activities (saves them from having to think of their problems)."

yeah I used to live in what my psyche would call "My Fantasy World"

"Depression, sleeping late during the day and unable to get off to sleep at night, constant cravings for Carbohydrate-loaded foods (Starch, Sugar and Cellulose)."

I used to eat so much I ended up with alot of weight for along time.

"Often on the receiving end of bullying, sometimes severe"

this has happend to me all the time even on the weekends from school.

"Few friends, and a lack of a normal social lifestyle for a teenager.
Spending long periods alone - e.g. in the bedroom, or going for long aimless walks alone."

I only had 1 friend and I did used to go walking alone to get away from society and I did spend time in my room alot playing games and secretly crossdressing in that time.

"Appearing more friendly with the 'opposite sex' as their main group (i.e. boys who are more friendly with girls, and vice versa)."

yes and no depending on how friendly the girls are but most of them just saw me as a friend they can chat to but I did feel more comfortable with girls than guys in a group.


that's all I can say about the link.

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Misery is my company, why do I stand out from the rest of the people around me.

I have GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder).. slight PD (Panic Disorder).. and an indoginess depression which comes and goes. Hvae been on meds for all of it but am currently only on meds for the depression..

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Girl/ boy/ butch/ femme.. I'm just ME!

Hmm, let's see. Other then being gender disphoric i used to have TBC when i was really little. Atm i'm suffering of depression prolly caused by this gender dysphoria and maybe i got some other stuff i'm not aware off.

um other than the gender issues...

frequently diagnosed with depression throughout my childhood, been on anti depressants a couple of times, both for least 2 years

many people have said they think i might be aspergers but i've never brought the idea up with any of the psychs or councillors ive seen over my life.

maybe an ickle ocd'ness. i have an obsessive attitude to made things, if i'm sat next to one of those classroom pencil tubs by the end of the lesson itl be in colour and size order.
any items on my desk must always be in set positions, i get real twitchy if someone accidently knocks something out of place.
i also cant walk down an isle in a supermarket without straightening things and putting things back where they belong if theyre out of place.

personally i just think i'm me., oh n i'm PCOS.

i also have a permanent stomach problem, was first noticed when i was 6 months old, just starting to eat real foods, i stopped eating and dropped off the third centile on hte growth charts. all trhough my childhood till present day ive got memories of being ill with my stomach.

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僕は男の人です

Ive been diagnosed with ADD, although doing research i recon im more ADHD but meh the shrink gal knows what shes talking bout i guess!

was diagnoised with anxiety by my doctor just under a year ago, and been diagnoised with depression for a good 4 years now, i even get meds, but i never take them ever mainly cos im very ditsy and keep forgetting them, and then dont see the point im just like "well if i forget them they obv aint that important to me"

and obv i suffer from Gender Dysphoria, my doctors response to all this (well apart from the gender thing) "leave the city, i can really see you working on a farm somewhere" lol! but my anxiety is at its worse during summer cos of my fear of wasps and bees and moths, so im a nervous wreck during summer...let alone living on a farm id have an anxiety attack every 2 mins lol! she wants me to have a heart attack i swear!! lol!!

i also suffer from polycythaemia which means my body produces more blood than actually needed so im a walking time bomb for strokes and stuff lol! not funny i know but eh.

also have to take sedatives for my anxiety but i take one and it doesnt work so i take two and im basically a walking mess, and its hard explaining to bosses why i use the mens toilets and stand when my id says woman, AND having to explain y i look stoned lol!