ok silly maybe, but I'm having yet another minor crisis, do you think I need ffs? I have generally thought i wouldn't get it. as im scared of not recognising myself, but at the sametime I don't think I look feminine enough. Here are some pics of me,

http://s59.photobucket.com/albums/g296/emrock_london/?action=view&current=n60500665_32751292_8625.jpg

http://s59.photobucket.com/albums/g296/emrock_london/?action=view&current=n60502498_32752263_5418.jpg

http://s59.photobucket.com/albums/g296/emrock_london/?action=view&current=n60501006_32778898_7460.jpg

http://s59.photobucket.com/albums/g296/emrock_london/?action=view&current=n60504444_32775050_1555.jpg

http://s59.photobucket.com/albums/g296/emrock_london/?action=view&current=n60504444_32779209_3378.jpg

apologies i'm in a seasonal depressing mood

Hello... obviously it's up to you.

I think you are really pretty and feminine in your photos.

Dennis

From an outsider's point of view, I honestly think you don't need it, especially if your voice is good as well, but I can understand if you want to do it for personal reasons, because you yourself probably see your features as masculine a lot more than most others, so on one side, don't feel pressured into it, but also, don't be repelled so much against it because of people saying it is unneccessary in their own opinions.

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It's never too late to be who you might have been. - Mary Ann Evans

Emrock

I think you look great as you are. However, I also think that if you feel it would make a real, positive difference to your life, then you should go for it. I must admit, I don't know that much about FFS, so I can't give any educated answers about weighing up the benefits against the negative sides to it, but I do believe that if it's something you genuinely feel you need then you should go for it.

However, try and make sure that you make the decision when you're feeling generally positive, rather than when you're feeling depressed in general. It's all too easy (from personal experience) when you're feeling down to think that one particular thing will solve all your problems - and then, after going to the pain/expense of getting that one thing, discovering that the depression is still the same as ever.

Dave

I think we can be our own worst enemy sometimes. Our biggest critic is always ourselves.

I know i have a huge nose, this bothers me a lot! it's probably the shape (combined with bad skin) more than the actual size, but FFS is something I wouldn't do unless I absolutely had to.

Think long and hard before you do anything like this, there are a very large number of people who will never be happy with the way they look, in extreme case's leading to unnecessary surgery after unnecessary surgery.

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Most of the time, most people do what most people do most of the time.

Hi Emma, it's entirely up to you really. If you find that you're passing as female all the time then it's probably best to save the money but I can completely understand the want to get rid of any masculine traits regardless of whether they don't set off any male signals or not.

I'll be completely honest. You don't have the most feminine face but I've seen more masculine faces on women in the supermarket and I can only assume they're cis women since most have children. It's easier to point out flaws on ourselves than pick out the good bits...unless it's someone who's really up their own arse. You've got lovely skin and hair and nice features, none of which are particularly heavy. Maybe it's the things your mum said to you before that's making you feel like this?

It's no one's choice but your's. Sure you'll get a few "OMG U MUST NOT GET SURGERY UR PERFECT" type quotes which are generally brown-nosing crap as I've seen some really masculine transsexuals get them(you're definately not really masculine, just making the point. But it's best to ignore them, it's what you want that really matters.

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Hellfrozeover be a pirate and a Transgenderzone moderator.

I don't stand under the TG umbrella anymore, it's way too bitchy and crowded in there but it's sunny out here

Yeah honestly what my mum said has a lot to do with it, but also just wanting rid of anything masculine. My forehead and brow ridge are what worry me most.

You look fine to me. But of course I can't say what's right for you. Just that any surgery decision you make should be made for yourself not because of what mum or anyone is saying.

Do you want FFS?

Nobody will give you an honest answer if they think they are going to offend you. It's not the done thing to destroy a person's self-image, especially if they have no means (in this case money), of correcting that. This kind of question is a great way of fishing for compliments, but a poor way of getting advice.

Emma.

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Cheeky Cat!

Hey emrock,

It's gotta be a personal decision really. I met a few people at a conference this year who had had amazing results with FFS and it made a huge difference to their life. But there were also a few others who had a touch of "Joan rivers" about them!

But only you can gauge to what extent it would help you to pass. If you think it would make a big difference then it could be life changing. But as others have said we are often our own worst critics and tend to see the bad features rather than the good!

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Cheeky Cat!

i guess it is a poor way of getting actual advice. i made the post when i was a bit down last night. I have a massive hang up in my forehead and i guess was wondering whether people thought that surgery on my forehead is worth it.

Generally I am not very enthusiastic about facial surgery, but i have recently been thinking about it, if it will make my life better, but i think it would be a last resort.

I pass 99% of the time, but i don't feel attractive which i suppose is the root of the issue. Its all purely academic at the mo anyway since i don't even have the money for srs which is my priority.

Feeling attractive is not about how you look. After all there are plenty of people who don't fit society's definition of attractive (not that I think society is right in the first place but anyway) but are ok with how they look. And on the other hand there are people who many think look attractive but feel they are ugly.

Surgery won't make you attractive in your own mind. Plenty of people have had plastic surgery only to find that it didn't solve the problem. Then you get some who keep getting surgery after surgery to look "perfect" but it never happens. They're never happy with how they look, and instead of trying to deal with their self esteem they try and fix it cosmetically. It just doesn't work.

I would say it'd be far more productive to work on your self esteem than to work on the structure on your face.