Feeling a bit down because I didn't get offered a place in Uni I have decided to start a Blog. I don't know whether many people here know me but I will give you the basics: I am 24yrs, have come out to almost everyone I know, and I guess, word being word - lots of people I don't know. I have just started living fulltime as a male, including name change, and am about to start on Testosterone!!! I live in Australia so I am pretty sure things are a lot different here that in the UK. We have to be seeing a gender specialist for six months and we can start T, then six months after that, we get the top surgery. Two years living as a male, and a note from your gender specialist will get the "female" on your birth certificate changed to "male".

Things are going pretty well for me at the moment, and for a while. There are just two issues I wanted to ask people about:

1. I have given my family not much time at all to deal with me being transgender. I am not one of those people who have known since early childhood that they were in the wrong gender. It only dawned on me in the last few years. I also don't have much memory of my childhood, but my mum does reckon there were signs... But anyway, my family have known for about four months and so far all is well (except my grandmother, but I expected as much). I told my mum about my legal name change and she is doing her best. The thing is, no one has said anything to me! No one asks me about being trans or anything. I don't think it is a denial issue because they have all accepted me, but perhaps it is because they just don't know what to say? Or are they embarrassed to talk about it incase I don't want to? Has anyone had similar experiences to this? Should it be me (I'm really shy) to raise the topic when talking with these people, or should I let it sink in for a bit?

2. I am attempting to get a job after a year of studying. My problem is, should I apply in my new name, or my old name and tell the potential employers about my situation when I get a foot in the door? I can still pass as female, albeit a very butch one. The plus side of this is that if they contact any of my previous employers they will know me, but if I apply in my new name, they will have no idea who I am and not give me the reference. Plus if I get the job, then tell them about my transition, they can't do anything due to anti-discrimination laws. I always assume people will think the worse though I am yet to experience anything bad...

I kind of think it was a good thing I didn't get into University this year because I have been really suffering due to my lack of money situation. At least I can apply for Uni next year (and hopefully get in) after most of my transition is done, and I won't have to worry about forking out money for my surgery, which I think is mostly paid for by Medicare, but it still costs a bit.

So, this is the first post of my Blog, and hopefully I will keep it updated if anything interesting happens to me...

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Whatever it takes to Escape.

Hi Oliver.

Firstly cool title and great little intro about yourself, thanks for sharing that .

Oliver wrote:

The thing is, no one has said anything to me! No one asks me about being trans or anything. I don't think it is a denial issue because they have all accepted me, but perhaps it is because they just don't know what to say? Or are they embarrassed to talk about it incase I don't want to? Has anyone had similar experiences to this?

I have had experiences like that too. Especially some people I talk to quite a lot at work, they just don't talk about it. I had expected some people to be full of questions. I think it can be a sign of acceptance, to them it's just not an issue. I think also it's a bit of not knowing what to say and not wanting to cause offense.

Would you feel more comfortable if your family did talk to you about it more and ask questions? Do you feel you need to talk about things?

Oliver wrote:

Should it be me (I'm really shy) to raise the topic when talking with these people, or should I let it sink in for a bit?

I think it's difficult to know how people really think without asking them. I'm sure different people handle things in different ways, some people might be waiting for you to talk to them and those people might not feel comfortable bringing up things themselves. I guess it's hard to advise on what to do without knowing your family. Perhaps you could let them know that it's ok for them to talk to you about it if they want to.

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Hi Chrissy.

Thanks for your reply.

Quote:

Would you feel more comfortable if your family did talk to you about it more and ask questions? Do you feel you need to talk about things?

Not so much. I just think that there is a lot going unsaid and I want any thoughts/questions people have to come to me so I can answer them instead of people talking around me. I don't know. My shrink said I have power/control issues (that I have to always be in control of situations) so I should just let it go and be confident that people will come to me if they need.

-------------------

I'm having T issues now... I haven't got my second opinion until MARCH (argh!) and inbetween HOPEFULLY I will see the psychologist so they can make sure I am sane... THEN I will get the T! Right now my shrink says the psychologist he normally goes through is too expensive (AU$600) so he's trying to find someone else. I wish he did this before! I guess this just gives me time to help me decide what I want to do and where I want my life to go (24yrs old and still no idea), at least get a journey for this year planned.

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Whatever it takes to Escape.

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Whatever it takes to Escape.

Oh, I heard it's a great movie. Need to watch it some time.

Welcome to the Zone, Oliver!

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I have to EDIT because I can't SPELL!!

Great film - archived in the tzone vaults

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Man [...] must count no one but himself; that he is alone, abandoned on earth in the midst of his infinite responsibilities, without help, with no other aim than the one he sets himself, with no other destiny than the one he forges for himself on this earth." (Jean Paul Sartre, 1943)

Hi Oliver. My partner is trans and when I first met him, none of my friends ever talked about it with me. I think they weren't sure what to say because they didn't know enough about the topic. I found it really hard though because I needed to talk about it. In the end I just brought it up whenever I felt I wanted to say something, and they gradually got more comfortable with discussing it.

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Hey Oliver!
Nice to read about you - I hope everything goes well for you getting T. I'm also 24 and started on T about two months ago, having told my parents in summer of last year. Like you, I've had no discussion of this issue at all, and find it very uneasy. It's very hard to know how many times you're supposed to go through 'coming out' all over again by bringing it up, and it's very stressful. I think that the ball should be in their court by now, and hopefully they will start to inquire more as you proceed. With my parents, I wonder if it's because they don't really believe I'm actually going to do what I say. So I can't offer much advice really, but just wanted to say hello and that you can shoot me a message any time you want to chat
- Finn

Thanks guys. I think I have put it down to people needing to process the information, and me being a quiet shy person in real life has maybe made them a bit uneasy about talking to me, but I guess when they see that I am fine about trans issues being discussed then they will see it's okay. And now that I have changed my name, I guess they will not be able to avoid it .

Oh, and I bought a prosthetic pack and pee from Home Grown here in Australia. I don't know if anyone has bought from there before but I will let you know how everything goes.

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Whatever it takes to Escape.

Hi Oliver, that would be a nice thing to do, re the P&P. The more infoe we can the more we can help others.

What will be strange is that after many years down the line, you may find your self explaining all about your self. We just never know haow many times we "come out"

Just do every thing in your new name, no matter how many times you wil have to explain. Normally once you say "Transmale", they go deaf and just start putting all the CORRECT details down.

Keep smiling son, life is life so enjoy it.

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" Too many years fighting the tears, Why can't the past just die. Try to for give, teach me to live, give me the strength to try. No more memories, no more silent tears, no more gazing across the wasted years, help me to say. Goodbye"
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I guess everyone knows that Heath Ledger died recently. I think it's pretty sad. I didn't know him but he was doing good things and The Dark Knight looks incredible. I wasn't a huge fan of Brokeback Mountain because I thought it was long, slow and a bit boring but I admire what both him and Jake Gyllanhaal (?) did for the queer community by making that movie, and the awareness it gave. I hate that those religious c*nts in America (I'm sure they are everywhere) would protest his funeral like they are planning. I must stress that although I don't agree with religion, I know it is a persons own choice what to believe in, and I am not having a go at anyone, EXCEPT those cowards who picket funerals with signs saying GOD HATES FAGS and bullsh*t like that.

I'm sorry. I get angry with these people. I apologize if I have offended anyone on this forum. I don't even know why I get so angry. I don't give a shit that god may hate queer people. I don't believe there is a god. I guess I just hate the simple lack of respect these people have. And I hate that queer people who do believe in god have to put up with these people.

Argh.

/rant.

In other news, I got my birth certificate back which is great. Underneath my very masculine name as always it states FEMALE which is hillarious. I got a got laugh out of that, but one day too, that too will change.

And I got a job! Woot! I am glad I only had to attend one interview and not become an official 'job seeker'. I applied in my old name, but before I start I will flash my newly changed birth certificate at them so only the two bosses will know my big secret. It's a night shift job too which I couldn't be happier about! It could be in a better profession but hey, it's what I know and the pay is decent (shh, don't ask what I do or I'll have to kill you ). I have my medical next week then should get a roster.

Bye for now.

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Whatever it takes to Escape.

Youe birth certificate? Is/was that the GRC?

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" Too many years fighting the tears, Why can't the past just die. Try to for give, teach me to live, give me the strength to try. No more memories, no more silent tears, no more gazing across the wasted years, help me to say. Goodbye"
From Phantom Of The Opera

Fishkeeper is Admin staff for FTM's.
My Bio. http://www.transgenderzone.com/bio.htm
we have a library
http://www.transgenderzone.com/library

feel free to browse

Um? I don't know?

Does your gender not change on your birth certificate after you get it adjusted? I thought it would be like everything else and change then have a note in italic please refer to amendments overleaf but hey, I probably am wrong.

I suppose the GRC (Gender Recognition Certificate?) would be a peice of paper stating your change in gender... perhaps attached to your birth certificate??? and that is what you apply to get changed once you can???


There is going to be a Temeraire movie!!! Directed by Peter Jackson!!! In 2009!!! Yay!!! Temeraire, of the book series written by Naomi Novik!!! I'm excited!!! Can you tell!!! Possibly the biggest thing since Harry Potter, but better!!!

Temeraire, if you haven't read it, well first - you should - but it's an alternate historical fantasy story with dragons and Temeraire being the main one, and he is a Chinese Celestial dragon. The books are "a reimagining of the epic events of the Napoleonic Wars with an air force — an air force of dragons, manned by crews of aviators".

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TFK - I think Oliver is in Australia, so the birth certificate changing thing will be different there I expect - and no such thing as a GRC!

Oliver - the GRC (Gender Recognition Certificate) is used in the UK to change your birth certificate. Once you have your GRC, you can get your birth certificate reissued with your correct name and gender marker on - no mention of your old details, or anything being amended or anything.

Hope that helps to clear it up a bit!

And I couldn't agree more with you on the Westboro Baptist Church - that's the God Hates Fags mob. Last year, a British journalist called Louis Theroux spent some time with them to make a documentary about them - there's an interview with Louis Theroux about his time with them here. There's only a few of them - the amount of publicity they receive is way out of proportion to how many of them there are.

Dave

Hey Dave, thanks for the heads up on all that.

Yeah I am in Australia, so we do things a bit different down here, though the GRC sounds better in the case of having the amendments not on it.

I read through that article you linked too. I got down to the bit about saying how they are not cruel to gay people they meet one on one etc before I started swearing at the computer about them being hypocrites and all that.

I didn't realize it was just one family though, and that they were so hated. I kind of thought that the majority of Americans were like that (sorry everyone in America who is not). I guess you are right, the amount of publicity they get is grossly out of proportion. And it makes me feel a lot better that they are so few, and so hated.

I'll look into the documentary, I have a morbid fascination with cults!
I hope this family soon partake in a little Kool Aid fun!

I'm sorry, I'll stop hating now.

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Whatever it takes to Escape.