ok, hi im jenni im 21 ( no idea what i want to b called when i become male.) i have had years of wondering if i was in the wrong physical body mainly cuz i always done the apparent boys stuff- climb trees play football breakdance play with guns and the like- i was ATC)

so wen i fell head over heels for my gay manager i new there was something wrong... looking it up it seems that i have GIDnos..typically me that nos bit! I have a local LGBT support worker so i will ask her too but..

before i come out to him and the rest of the council staff about my intentions to be known as a maleworker. what reactions did you get? how did you play it?

all help appreciated
thanks
J x

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your heart is trying to rock, but it can barley beat at all, your soul is trying to run but all your body does is crawl, you don't need any signal, you dont need any sign. Nothings going to stop you once you cross over that line!

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http://www.spinwatch.org/

Hiya, welcome to Tzone .

If you've got a name other than Jenni that you'd prefer to be called, we'd be more than happy to use that.

A lot of girls do these sorts of things when they're growing up and at the same time, a lot of boys do more effeminate things. It doesn't neccesarily mean that they're GID. If you really do feel GID and aren't just wondering if you are because of your past hobbies then that's a bit different. It all depends on how you feel and working out those feelings. If you have then great !

As far as your job goes, no one can fire you because of your gender identity so it's pretty safe to come out as far as that goes. It might be worth telling your manager a little beforehand so he knows what to do to prepare for your transition.

Gender identity and sexuality aren't linked so you could well find yourself to be gay as well as trans. It's pretty common and shouldn't be something to fear might set you back when transitioning.

Good luck with your work issues .

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Hellfrozeover be a pirate and a Transgenderzone moderator.

I don't stand under the TG umbrella anymore, it's way too bitchy and crowded in there but it's sunny out here

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The Daily Turnout - First for profulgent flatulence

Hi J, and welcome to tzone!

If you've got another name that you think you might like, feel free to try it out here! We'll understand if you decide to change it and try different names, so it's the ideal opportunity

I work for a local council, and have had no bad reactions at all - councils are often very supportive places for people to transition in.

In my view, it's best not to rush into transition in the workplace. Before you do, it's probably worth getting used to male pronouns amongst your friends, and to do your legal name change etc - otherwise it causes more confusion as some official things will still be in your old name, and some will be in your preferred name!

Dave

Hey J...

im still worrying about telling my friends at work and genral mates too.. but telling my parents that i wanted to do it was the hardest...reactions are good from them maybe cuz i got the " we love you no matter what"

but co workers are know different. they all have things that they want to say to others...you will just be bigger for saying and they will appretiate the fact that you came out and told them they will respect you as how you feel isnt your fault

Be yourself the fact your manager is gay helps because it seams ur working society has a varied culture and arnt just tipical stuck up people... they all accepted him

people may be off with you at first but they'll come round and some will be supportive in your choice...so dont worry...they wont burn you on the stake!

Good luck

Scott!

the only hard bit is i work in a council play centre the kids always ask " Miss are you a boy or a girl?" i thought it would be funny to throw them inquisitive kids the line, " dont know but mumma calls me Dwayne." so i think thats gonna be my name. its just really hard trying to work thing out cuz im not sure if its just a phase or not... i was signed to a model agency as jenni but im not comfortable with make up and dresses im into tracksuits and tour tops.

Im trying to contact my manager he's on a 9month sabbatical thingy he's on the other side of the world thailand somewhere so support is very far.

oh i wish this was easier. its the kids i wory about mainly as its: jordan goes to mummy " mummy Jennifers a boy!" mum to play team management " whats this disgusting thing working with my kid you should be sacked for letting that thing near the kids!"

and its all so confusing argh!

Actually, a lot of people find that kids understand much better than many adults, so that's probably nothing to concern yourself with. A mate of mine works with teenagers, and when he came out to them as trans they were all falling over each other to correct anyone who made a mistake with pronouns or anything!

As far as the reactions of parents are concerned, that's up to the management to handle. However, legally they have to back you up - you can't be sacked for being trans. It's worth not rushing into coming out at work though - I know how it feels to want to be able to be yourself everywherem but it's worth planning carefully, discussing with management and HR, and working out how situations such as telling the kids and their parents will be handled, as well as what will be said if there are any complaints.

Dave

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The Daily Turnout - First for profulgent flatulence

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your heart is trying to rock, but it can barley beat at all, your soul is trying to run but all your body does is crawl, you don't need any signal, you dont need any sign. Nothings going to stop you once you cross over that line!

If the kids are not sure who you are, why do they address you as "miss"? You wear a name badge, probably?

And welcome!

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I have to EDIT because I can't SPELL!!

that would be an idea but the play service committee only give us uniforms and id tags if we are doing outside events like when i was supporting the team at Nottingham Pride. the kids call me miss coz they were introduced to me as jenni before i came onsite but then they got confused i guess its just them being polite...unlike the x who is no calling me a gender bender ...just what i need!

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your heart is trying to rock, but it can barley beat at all, your soul is trying to run but all your body does is crawl, you don't need any signal, you dont need any sign. Nothings going to stop you once you cross over that line!

Iv managed to contact my manager and talk to him, he said i shud see my GP what happens when i tell my GP im confused over my gender identity? do i get referred to a psychiatrist? or do they do an assessment then hand over hormones i dont know?
He also suggested i may need some anti-depressants coz of the anxiety its causing me.
iv got in contact with a lgbt youth councellor ( theres a long waiting list for this service.) to see what can be done for me from that direction...

any help?

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your heart is trying to rock, but it can barley beat at all, your soul is trying to run but all your body does is crawl, you don't need any signal, you dont need any sign. Nothings going to stop you once you cross over that line!

_________________
The Daily Turnout - First for profulgent flatulence