He was wearing my clothes
Last week I came home early from work - and spotted my teenage son dressed up to the nines in my clothes! He didn't see me, so I crept out and didn't come home again until my usual time. Needless to say he was back in male mode by then. I'm not angry, but I do want to talk to him about what he does. I've just got no idea how to approach the subject.

Susan advises
You're right not to be angry with your son. If he's simply experimenting with what it's like to 'dress up', then he'll probably never do this again. If he's truly transvestite, then there's no point in being angry - this is part of his identity just as much as the colour of his eyes.

But even though you're not angry, you are embarrassed - and he'll be embarrassed too if you adopt a direct approach. So don't. Instead, over the next weeks, start referring to the issue in general terms - citing a 'friend' who enjoyed wearing women's clothes, or an article you read about it. Don't imply that all lads who do this are transvestite - he may not be. Do stress your empathy, understanding and support. And do make it clear that as a Mum, the most important thing to you is that 'any son of yours' feels able to confide. And if he does confide, then give him a big hug and all your love.

The bottom line, however, is that your son may not confide. He's currently at the stage of life where he finds out who he really is. And as he's becoming his own man, he simply may not want to talk this through with his Mum! In which case, simply stand back and let it go; though you may want to leave the number of The Beaumont Trust lying around, so that if he needs outside support, he can get it.



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Man [...] must count no one but himself; that he is alone, abandoned on earth in the midst of his infinite responsibilities, without help, with no other aim than the one he sets himself, with no other destiny than the one he forges for himself on this earth." (Jean Paul Sartre, 1943)