Hey there,

A lot of people seem to be doing these blogs and I have read a few. So I tought I'd give it a go myself. Not that my life is that interesting but it might help me a little, so I can look back in the future and see how far I've come.

About me.....

I wont go into too much detail about the childhood stuff as my story is just about the same as everyone else here...never felt like a girl...never wanted to be a girl...etc. At 18 I left school and worked in kitchens for a long time which was great as I just wore chefs whites. I had never used my name and always been known by a nickname, and people often assumed I was a guy. I went back to uni a few years later and did the student thing (still using the nickname) lounging around in combats and a hoodie, so a lot of people still thought I was male.

I'm now 29 and after finishing uni about a year ago, I moved to Devon for a new job. This means having to look professional and using my real name every day. I think that has triggered something in me, I just can't keep doing it.

Anyway...

with a little help from George (thanks George) I have had my first appointment with the Doctor this morning. She was very understanding and was totally on top of what to do. So she is referring me to The Laurels. So I'm feeling pretty good about things today-started the ball rolling. I just hope for a smooth ride.

Jedd...I'm on my way!!

Splendid!

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Chrissy
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Always have faith and believe in yourself.
Never run from the truth.
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Thanks for your kind replies.

Nothing much has happened but I did order a binder from the internet today, I hope it doesn't take too long to arrive. I will have to think of somewhere to go when I wear it so I can test it out.

I'm looking forward to being able to go out in public actively making myself look male.....not just be mistaken for one until someone looks at my chest, making things uncomfortable for both of us.

A binder is a good thing to start with.

Good luck once you have it and being happy, I'm sure you will.

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" Too many years fighting the tears, Why can't the past just die. Try to for give, teach me to live, give me the strength to try. No more memories, no more silent tears, no more gazing across the wasted years, help me to say. Goodbye"
From Phantom Of The Opera

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Things seem to be moving on.

My binder arrived last weekend - it is a little uncomfortable but I felt much better wearing it. I havent done the full time thing yet, I will be getting a new job this summer so I may just do it then.

I had my appointment at the doctors and got referred to the GIC next month - I am actually looking forward to it.

Now I have to work out how to tell the parents and family (I also have a 7 year old sister who I am very close with). I thought I might wait until I have had the appointment at the Laurels (GIC), maybe it will be easier to explain.

I also have to worry about a name now, Jedd was a name I quite liked and used with little thought when joining here. My mum says she would have called me Joseph if I was a boy (get the irony). So maybe I should stick to that. Any ideas welcome.

About damn time I got back to posting in here!!
I have now been to see the councillor twice and as far as I can tell I am pretty sane and know what the problem is...(I knew that anyway). It has been pretty helpful...and a little odd...to talk about it. Though some of the questions are quite probing.
Looking forward to seeing the doctor now...I think. Though I may have some troubles because I am moving...hoping to continue my treatment in the southwest, but there may be an issue of funding. Hopefully I can persuade my new area to fund me!!! Other than the immense amount of forms I have to fill in and the bits of paper that I seem to have to post everyday, things seem to be moving on ok. Just have to tell my parents now..still being a wuss on that front.