i am not very good with this computer call me thick our it could be because i am irish lol,,,,,,,,,,,, i am 26 just i might add .. i h\ve waited so long to be put on hormones and to live as me but now that i am here i have never been so scared i have not been outside for over 2 weeks now the world scares me, i hate feeling like a freak . all my life well since i realised what was wrong with me i prayed that i could kust be a normal girl i never wished i could have been born a normal boy might sound strange but i was glad to be ts rather than a boy. but now my life seems so tough that i wish i wasnt ts. this also might have something to do with the fact i feel in love 2 years ago she knew then all about me and we are still with each other but our sexual relationship has stopped and we always said we would remain friends but that hurts because i love her so fucking much i dont want to lose her but if i stop my transition i dont know would i be able to live on this earth for very long.and on top of all that my family are crap well apart from my cousin but she lives in ireland as do my family i just feel like i am going to crack me head hurts... anyone help????

Well, I don't know what to say, really, other than that I am sure that communicating with people in this site will SURELLY help you, some way.
There are people here been through situations like yours, so I suppose they will have more to say (I am pre-transition).

It do, however, feel that you will, in time, get over the relationship part (I have gotten over some relationships... just as most people have, transgender or not). Yes you love her. But you do have love for other people in you, too (even if you currently think you don't...). It would be great if you manage to really stay friends with her. Friendship is darn important, too.

Hang on, Emma.