Yup. Well I decieded that I am not going to allow myself to be intimidated any longer.
For people who've been asking what name is, not my alias and I decieded on Rachel a few months ago.
Where am I? Huddersfield
What do I look like?

So there we have it. If some Jihaddi wants to come knocking on my door based on this information then let 'em. I aint afraid of you!
I'm putting my blog up here as I write it. Today I'm a bit too revolutionary to make much sense, but I'll be calmer soon and I aint going to keep my mouth shut for thier sake any more
http://blog.myspace.com/154158266
That's my blog on myspace that I've kept going for a little while. I'll be updating both that and this one soon

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I look back at most of my life and think "WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?!??"

Hehe got a lot of friend studying at Huddersfield Uni', the name always just makes me think of rain though

You added me to MSN and i accepted, but your name has magically vanished on there.. sooo o.o

Amiy

Nice one, Rachel. Take no prisoners...

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The Daily Turnout - King of the Throne Room

whilst i caution against doing anything that may compromise your personal security - it is unlikely to be religious fanatics that may give you grief - it is more likely to be the local yoofs

but this is a stepping stone to becoming a more confident person and that shows already

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Man [...] must count no one but himself; that he is alone, abandoned on earth in the midst of his infinite responsibilities, without help, with no other aim than the one he sets himself, with no other destiny than the one he forges for himself on this earth." (Jean Paul Sartre, 1943)

Great pic. Not in the technical quality, sorry
I mean you have totally great face.

Yeah i agree with Juz ^^

Totally. Lovely.

Steady on, Moon Unit.

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The Daily Turnout - King of the Throne Room

Awww. Thanks
Anyway. It's Monday tommorow. Gonna try find myself a job and another place to live as I'm due to get an eviction notice soon.
Still waiting for any news of a refferal. It's only been a few days so I'm not impatient yet.
I'm out for a drink on either Tuesday or Thursday night. Ever since I went out and was myself that one night in Decemeber, I havent been able to go out and enjoy myself in guy-mode at all. So, if I'm going out for a drink, it's got to be in girl-mode now. I think I understand why too.
Before I started coming out about all this, my mind was a river that had been dammed. There was a big resivor of feminity that had been held back by a big, fabricated, concrete, dam of machoism, agression and toilet humour. There was a small trickle of feminity coming out of the bottom but when viewed from a distance all you'd see is the huge imposing concrete structure. When I came out about bieng trans then the 617 squadaron arrived and flung the bouncing bomb over the torpedo nets and blew the dam. Now, the resivour has emptied into the river and the only thing I've got left to even begin attempting to restore the dam if I wanted to is a leaky bucket (called denial).
This is either very very good or very very bad. I havent decieded which yet. A little part of me still thinks that ignorance is bliss.
Anyway. I'm heading out for a drink with a friend and I'm going back to my favorate pub for the first time since because I've been hanging around the gay bars of Huddersfield since coming out and been missing the company and music and general atmosphere of The Parish.
Hopefully some of the clothes I ordered off Ebay will have arrived by then too and I can go out wearing something other than the same stuff I've been wearing every other time I've been out too.
Dunno. That a good blog? That a crap blog? Should I leave this for people who have intresting lives or better analogies? I dunno.

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I look back at most of my life and think "WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?!??"

It's your blog for you to develop your own thoughts about yourself, and you're doing fine.

I agree with Juz, you've got a lovely face . You're doing fine on the journal side of things.

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Hellfrozeover be a pirate and a Transgenderzone moderator.

I don't stand under the TG umbrella anymore, it's way too bitchy and crowded in there but it's sunny out here

It's taken me days to write this because I went drinking like a fucking fish!!!

Tuesday....

I could have murdered Tony on Tuesday! I didnt think we were heading out in the end that night when I tried to get in contact with him and heard nothing. So at about 1800 I come out of the shower, throw on an old t-shirt and a pair of jeans and go downstairs to get some lurvley casserole. Just as I'm lifting the first forkful towards my mouth the doorbell goes off and lo and behold, there's Tony, pissed as a fart on the doorstep.

It's not that I wasnt happy to see him, it was just that it pretty much ensured that I couldnt get ready to go out, because with my evil housemates making a nest in the living room, I had nowhere to keep him while I got ready and I couldnt bring myself to leave him waiting on the landing or kitchen for 30 minutes.

So anyway, we headed out with me looking like a total mess >.<

This meant that I had to get increadibly drunk because:
a) I didnt want to think too hard about how awful I looked
b) I had money
c) I found out that some of the meds I'm due are not compatible with booze so I have to make the most of booze while I can still have it
d) The more I drank, the better an idea it seemed

I know that we went to the Parish, New Union and Greyhound, but it gets a bit blurred after that. There's a faint memory in my mind of Kareoke in the Union, I hope to God that I didnt sing. I woke up at 0600 in my shower

Wednesday was written off as a hangover day

Thursday I kinda wasted on WoW and then got enthralled in msn chats until.... 0800 today.

So today I must actualy spend today doing something worthwhile, like looking for a job and a house. Aparantly I'm sweet and an angel! How little do they know me....

I'm away for the weekend until Wednesday for Gran's funeral and my birthday

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I look back at most of my life and think "WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?!??"

Heh, drunk is fun.
I never got drunk to the point I didn't remember myself. Guess, it's because I never totally relax, I always remember I should get home by myself.
And at home I normally just end up with the world spinning around, but stil no memory loss afterwards.

Happy coming birthday, you sobbing oldie!

Hehehe, i remember those kind of nights. My worst is going out with a friend for her last night of being at uni and getting so drunk i only just remember leaving the union, after that is a blur. Next thing i remember is waking up on the bathroom floor covered in vommit O_o. Not a good thing with long hair

I haven't wiled away a day on WoW in aaaaaaages. Really do need to set a day aside for that.

Love and The Great Cookie Shortage of 10/03/07

Ren xx