So, this is one of the things I keep pushing to the back of my head and it keeps springing up again and I thought it's about time I actualy talked about it.
After a stupidly long wait, I've got my first GIC appointment at Leeds on Tuesday (again), Good news? Well, part of me tells me that yeah, because it's getting me on the path to having a reliable source of cheap hormones and eventualy getting my surgery refferals. The other part of me tells me that this is actualy going to be a very unpleasant process getting there.
I've been out since October 2006, on hormones since March 2007, fulltime since August 2007 and I feel pretty confident that I've put the vast majority of my hangups in 2006 behind me. Now, on Tuesday, it's all going to get trawled up again. I'm going to have my privacy totaly invaded, a tonne of intimate and embarassing questions pressed on me, chances are I'm going to be forced into stopping self medding for six months and non-compliance will result in me bieng removed from the service. I'm not looking forward to this at all.
Did anyone else feel like this? Is there some kind of trick I should be using to get over it all?

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I look back at most of my life and think "WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?!??"

You've got stage fright, Rachel.

Everything will be alright.

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http://www.spinwatch.org/

I don't know how they do things at Leeds but at Charing Cross they don't make you stop self medicating.

I know that they will ask some very personal quetions, at the GIC I go to they are very professional with the way they do it and I have always felt perfectly comfortable in answering their questions. By the time I got to a GIC I'd got used to all the kinds of questions they ask, I think because I'd been asked the same questions a few times before by other psychs.

Try not to worry, and trust them to do their job and just answer things the best you can and let them do the work. I am sure everything will be all right too. It's a perfectly natural reaction to feel nervous and apprehensive about it all.

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Chrissy
Forums Moderator.

Always have faith and believe in yourself.
Never run from the truth.
Have the will to change your fate and your spirit will never die.
Check out the tzone team bios here: http://www.transgenderzone.com/bio.htm

Worrying solves nothing. It's your transition; you're the boss. Go in there and tell them how it's going to be.

There's nothing harder to stop than she whose time has come.

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If music be the food of love, stand by for a good rogering

Good luck hun!

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Words like violence, break the silence
Come crashing in, into my little world

It's great to hear that the appointment has finally came around, good luck!

As for having everything stirred up again, I've been full time since the start of 2003, and I've spent the last two years wrestling with my local PCT to get funding for surgery - Three shrinks so far, another coming up in august, and that's just for funding (not referral/approval) ¬.¬. And before that there was the switch from Russel to Curtis, which meant another full cross-examination. Oh, and counciling sessions for mostly unrelated matters but again strayed over into gender stuff.

To be honest, you get used to it all being dragged up, and in a way it can be helpful - it does force a greater level of self-acceptance in order to deal with this happening over and over.

Hopefully at least the fact you have been fulltime for a year should prevent most of the classic problems, and GICs are slowly becoming more sensible regarding medication changes and baseline tests. When it comes to such things, be sure to argue your case, that coming off hormones causes significant distress which should be minimised.

The key thing to remember is that ultimately you are dealing with other people, and you can well charm your way through anything other than required bureaucracy. Doctors have spent years in academic learning, so are surprisingly accepting of reasoned patients in general, as long as you gauge their personality correctly (ie, if they're in it for the power, make it seem like their idea ).

I'm in a very similar situation.
I've got my first psych appointment on Monday but I transitioned six months ago and have been self medding for the last year.
I feel like (apart from surgery) my transition is done and in the past and I have already dealt with all of the issues surrounding it.
I just need the help of a GIC in order to obtain surgery. Prescription hormones are just an added bonus.

But I fear that some of it is going to be unpleasant. I'm a very independent person and I don't like being told what to do. Stubborn I guess! So when I heard that a friend of mine at Leeds had been required to sign a declaration saying that she would not take any meds without their permission I was a bit concerned!
If they ask me to stop then I'm afraid I will be digging my heels in. I'm all for Reenie's approach, ie go in there and tell them how it's going to be!
It's your life after all and both you and I have already worked out what is best for us and done all the hard work.
I feel sure that already being transitioned will make it a bit easier, although I know there will be a certain amount of unpleasant questioning to get through!

Good luck anyway hun.

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Kelly
xx

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If music be the food of love, stand by for a good rogering

Thanks Irene and everyone else
I feel quite silly now. It wasnt scary at all. In fact, I kinda enjoyed the chat as it seemed quite light hearted
I arrived a little bit late, but we seemed to plough through what we were supposed to pretty quick. Got asked for my deedpoll and the questionares they sent me and other than that, the main thing they were interested in was dates like when I went FT, when I started on hormones, etc.
I think I am now over my GIC-aphobia

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I look back at most of my life and think "WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?!??"

Glad to hear it went well. Hopefully things are looking up for you!

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If you are struggling we will support you
If you are celebrating we will join you

Wonderful news, Rachel; I'm delighted for you. That's two of us with a result at the GIC today. Make a note, Class of 2009: August 5th. Good day for a visit to the gender clinic.

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If music be the food of love, stand by for a good rogering

My whole transition was done at Leeds GIC. The main problem I found with them was of my own doing. When I get nervous I talk too much and voluntarily told them how much alcohol I was imbibing. It held my transition back by a year until I "cut down" to what they thought was a reasonable amount (lie). Then I had blood tests and they said all was fine (liver etc.). I have learnt since then only to answer the questions they ask and offer nothing voluntarily as I know my liver was ok during that year of waiting as I lied to them about cutting down full stop. I know this is wrong incidentally.

I had to go up before a panel of various psychiatrists etc before they agreed to hormones. One of which (the consultant psychiatrist) was convinced because I had lived for 12 years in a sexual relationship with a man I couldn't be transgendered. One of the phsychiatric nurses present corrected her about the difference between gender and sexuality and told her it was common for ftms to have sexual relationships with men and this psychiatrist thankfully has since left Leeds GIC (or was hopefully pushed).

On a lighter note... I am now fully on the road to where I wanted to go via Leeds GIC and have now been on T for over a year and have recently had chest surgery and have been told they will discuss me having lower surgery on the NHS so you will get there. How fast is another matter but if you want my advice, just tell them what you need to and offer no more.

Oh, and congratulations Rachel, I'm well chuffed your on your way

I'm glad to hear it went well Rachel , I knew you'd be fine.

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Chrissy
Forums Moderator.

Always have faith and believe in yourself.
Never run from the truth.
Have the will to change your fate and your spirit will never die.
Check out the tzone team bios here: http://www.transgenderzone.com/bio.htm

Grats Rachel, glad everything went well

snowdoggy wrote:

I had to go up before a panel of various psychiatrists etc before they agreed to hormones. One of which (the consultant psychiatrist) was convinced because I had lived for 12 years in a sexual relationship with a man I couldn't be transgendered. One of the phsychiatric nurses present corrected her about the difference between gender and sexuality and told her it was common for ftms to have sexual relationships with men and this psychiatrist thankfully has since left Leeds GIC (or was hopefully pushed).

Sounds like a strong willed and well informed nurse

_________________
Words like violence, break the silence
Come crashing in, into my little world