Hi! I'm Tantopat, I'm 21, and I think I was around 19 or 20 when I first figured out that maybe I wasn't meant to be a girl after all. However, I'm not sure exactly what I am anymore. I remember when I was little (around 5 or 6), asking Mum if I was really a boy, because I honestly believed I was. I've always felt really uncomfortable acting feminine, and while I can quite easily force myself to act like that when I feel I have to, it just always feels like I'm mimicking something that I don't really understand. However, I'm not sure that I feel 100% male inside either.

I've never told anyone about this before now, and to be honest I'm feeling slightly nervous about saying so much openly! ;^^ I know my Dad can check what websites I go on, but thankfully I don't think this URL will be that interesting to him. It's good for me to be able to finally express my inner feelings to someone, and even if I'm not sure what my true gender is yet, hopefully I'll be able to chat with others here and learn from them, and maybe one day I'll finally be able to understand myself a little better! ;^^

Anyway, I'm into drawing, animation, J-rock (I've always admired J-rockers, who can be as androgynous as they like without having to worry about what anyone else says!), prog rock and birdkeeping (I have two very sweet, very noisy budgies who currently seem to be set on distracting me whenever I try to type! ). So...hi!

EDIT: Umm, sorry, I just noticed that I posted this in the wrong forum... I hope this isn't too much of a pain for everyone!

Welcome, don't worry about the post being in the wrong place as I am sure the mods will shift it if needs be.
I know you'll find lots of helpful friendly folk here, even if sometimes reading the posts it can get a little frenetic.
You'll hear different opinions but all advice is well meant and we do leave it to you to make up your own mind.
Anyway welcome again and enjoy yourself here.

_________________
It's not what you're born with
It's what you choose to bear
It's not how big your share is
It's how much you can share
It's not the fights you dreamed of
It's those you really fought
It's not what you're given
It's what you do with what you've got

Hi Tantopat, welcome to tzone!

I'm glad you've found us - feel free to post any questions you've got or anything like that. It's a good group of people here, with plenty of other guys as well (at all stages of transition) so I'm sure you'll find plenty of people to chat with.

Look forward to hearing more from you

Dave

Thanks for the welcomes! ^-^ It does feel quite nice to be able to chat with people who understand what I'm going through. And Becky, what is the quote in your signature from? It sounds so familiar, but I can't for the life of me remember where I've heard it before! ;^^

From a song by the Oysterband, a sort of Folk /Rock band a bit like although they predate them, The Levellers, as usual with much of my music quite political, something to do with turning 16( ah my formative years ) when the miners were defending the working classes from Thatcher not that it did them much good

_________________
It's not what you're born with
It's what you choose to bear
It's not how big your share is
It's how much you can share
It's not the fights you dreamed of
It's those you really fought
It's not what you're given
It's what you do with what you've got

Hi Tantopat and welcome to tzone.

tantopat wrote:

I think I was around 19 or 20 when I first figured out that maybe I wasn't meant to be a girl after all. However, I'm not sure exactly what I am anymore.... ...However, I'm not sure that I feel 100% male inside either.

I think of gender as quite fluid, I don't mean that you can drink it, lol, what I mean is that it's very often not so clear cut or as black and white as being a guy or a girl. Lots of people identify as somewhere in between genders or more one than another or even something a bit different from a mix of being male and female. Some people know who they are quite clearly and others take time to figure themselves out.

tantopat wrote:

It's good for me to be able to finally express my inner feelings to someone, and even if I'm not sure what my true gender is yet, hopefully I'll be able to chat with others here and learn from them, and maybe one day I'll finally be able to understand myself a little better! ;^^

Well, I think tzone is a wonderful and supportive place to chat and debate about all sorts of things. I hope you enjoy the forums and it helps you to learn more.

tantopat wrote:

EDIT: Umm, sorry, I just noticed that I posted this in the wrong forum... I hope this isn't too much of a pain for everyone!

Which forum did you intend on posting it in? Did you want to make this the start of a blog? I can move this thread into the My Story and Daily Blogs section if you like. Or did you want it moving into the FTM section?

Just let any of the moderators know if you want this thread moved anywhere and we'll help you out.

_________________
Chrissy
Forums Moderator.

Always have faith and believe in yourself.
Never run from the truth.
Have the will to change your fate and your spirit will never die.
Check out the tzone team bios here: http://www.transgenderzone.com/bio.htm

Actually, I just meant that I saw something written about introdutions under the Social Chit Chat heading, and so I thought that maybe my post should have gone in there instead. And I think that the idea of gender being fluid is really good, and very true come to think of it! I guess that's one of the reasons I love J-rock so much. Their performers often dress in very androgynous ways, and aren't afraid to completely defy traditional gender roles. It'd be so cool if people in general were like that, then everyone would be so much more accepting of everyone else.

Hello. I'm new, but not nervous. This was just the first thread I found that said anything about being new. I haven't really seen a "introduction" thread. Maybe someone could point me in the right direction. Also, is this board mostly for people in the UK?

Hi Ivana. We don't really have an introduction thread, but in here or in Social Chit Chat is fine.

The majority of folk in here are in the UK, but we do have members from all over the world as well. You're welcome wherever you come from

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Check out the Tzone team bios (including mine!) at: http://www.transgenderzone.com/bio.htm

Supporting the family, friends and partners of trans people in the UK: http://www.depend.org.uk/support.html
If you are struggling we will support you
If you are celebrating we will join you

_________________
Chrissy
Forums Moderator.

Always have faith and believe in yourself.
Never run from the truth.
Have the will to change your fate and your spirit will never die.
Check out the tzone team bios here: http://www.transgenderzone.com/bio.htm