Have you ever been in that situation...? Where you meet a girl and you spend all these years trying to keep her close as possible, hoping that things might work out?

And then one day... after all those years of hard work, you find out she's not at all what you expected and your problem now is trying to get as far away from her as possible. But it's not happening, because all your efforts of keeping her close worked and now she wont let the bloody damn go!

Metaphorically speaking.

This is the girl i've lived 21yrs as. It took me a whole 18yrs to discover who the hell she really was. And then just 3yrs to find out i dont know her at all. It wasn't really even me. And even though i've cast her aside from all my feelings... she's still there and refuses to budge.

She taunts me. Just like she's done all my life, but i've learnt to ignore her... but thats not to say she's gone at all. She stands firm, blocking me from view of people. Ok, she'll let me stand there, but she'll never let me speak, she wot let me join in. She wont leave me alone, always constantly reminding me that she's still there. Sometimes, i admit, she's good for somethings... like stopping me from making an ass of myself, stopping me from doing things that are bad, stopping me from saying stuff that could offend people... Maybe i've let myself rely on that a little too much.... Maybe i will be better off without her.

So i'm going to run, fast as i can and hide from her. In hopes i can truly discover who i really am, without her stopping me, without her getting in my way.

Ssssshhhhhh....... Dont tell her i'm here!

And thats my introduction. This place wil be my blog. My place to get all that crap out, to write it all down and look back at it to make sense of whats really going on.

A place i can use for extra head storage, thats always useful

*waves* So, how your life is going?

Life is meh ok right now, thank you, Juz. Could be better... could most definitely be worse.

I keep finding pieces of myself each day which is now beginning to show a visible picture of who i really am.

I do hope you are well too ^.^