Well everyone im back and ready to help out, some stuff has happened to me physically and mentally. after watching Rent and a bunch of other movies, i have come to the fact that i am what i am and if people dont like that well just move on. While i was on holiday in Colorado i had the worst experiences of my life, i woke up to a condition called Testicular Torsion, for the people that dont know what that is, its when the vas deferns get tangled and the blood supply gets cut off resulting in major amount of pain and discomfort. what they have done not only helped me but they also hurt me. the way they fixed it was not something i wanted to know. but the pain was so intense i bit the seatbelt on the way to the emergency room and disloged one of my teeth and started bleeding. at that point im crying/screaming on the way to the E.R well it just so happens that on the night before i was wearing my clothes of preference and had no clue that this was going to happen. so i wore my fave undies and my favorite bra. so when i get there they ask me to take off my clothes (shorts and shirt) and after i do that they suddenly relise what im wearing under neath. the whole room is quite but im yelling at them to get some painkillers in me. so after about 5 seconds of staring at me they get to the problem and tell me what has happened. They then told me what there going to do, but diddnt tell me that they were going to tack the testicle back in place to make sure it will never happen again. bad mistake, since i wear underwear that i go with my freinds and buy it requires a tucking method. they didnt know, now i have these tings tacked to the side and it will make my transitioning harder nor that i cant tuck.

it now ends at what can/will do about this situation and that i hate the male atonamy so much that i want the damn things gone

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the only thing that keeps me alive is the wish to have kids and teach them what i have learnd