heck I dunno where to say hello properly but I get the feeling I may be spending some time i this room. So lovely to see people here in the threads i am skimming in similar confusingly gendered places to me.

I am struggling with mine at the moment cos I am a femme (by choice) with (assigned) female genitals and a partly ambiguous body (by birth) - and I am clear and always have been that I am not fully female. I'm just onyl recently thinking very hard about it.

I am only recently really acknowledgiong I feel part male (as my girlfriend finally described it this way the other day and I know it's just correct... but a bit weird nonetheless). I have a load of seemingly minor body issues which are making me consider asking for intersex testing.

I am sure I am not FTM but acknowledging my maleness is making me worry slightly about it at times. I find it worrying cos I am femme... feminine... even my non femaleness is femme. but I am noting the clear line between female and feminine (and femme) and male and masculine.

sounds simple doesnt it like I should be saying cool I am a girl. Oh crikey it's hard explaining this stuff. there is a thing. I want to say it. I don't know how. that's how complicated it all feels at the moment.

I promised myself I'd read around the board a bit more before I started blabbing my life story, but then I thouht how I hate lurkers and then ... well I came in here and got excited at the things people are saying as I feel I might just be understood (once I've worked out how the hell to explain myself)

My big problem right now is how to be athentic and femme is leading me to be mistaken for cisgenderd and I am struggling with it. equally i don't want to go back to androgeny appearance wise (which would fix it as I can look pretty ambiguous if I don't pad out my chest and emphasise my hips. I adore being a femme and dont want to stop, but OI want to feel authentic... some part o me think if I just changed my name to dennis it would be obvious.
has anyone got a clue what I am talking about cos it's screwing with my head and all I can think about is dennis dennis dennis

Um anyway hi. I did a proper intro in the social room. so now I'm wading straight into the gender stuff.

HELLO! Hope you don't mind me perstering you lovely people.


Dennis