Hi Luke

I can really relate to the way you felt when pregnant as i felt the same way i was also diagnosed with post natal depression. I am also dreading telling my family even though i have a lot of support from my partner and step kids. I have changed my name now and started changing documents but still waiting for doctor to get back to me. Feel like i have to do something while waiting. Just glad i can be the real me now

Chad

Getting loads of positive messages from people, including work colleagues, saying they admire my courage and are proud of me. Feeling a bit overwhelmed by the amount of support I'm getting. Makes me feel even more sure I'm doing the right thing.

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"In the depths of winter I finally found that within me there lay an invincible summer."

I'm glad alls going well for ya mate!

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jamie

Hope everythings still going ok for you

Dan was asking after you at the Western Boys meet - did you get his email?

It's been a while since I posted on my blog and I guess a lot has changed. My GP has signed me off work for a couple of days to sort my head out (methinks it'll take longer than that!!), so I thought this would be a good place to offload.

Firstly, I must confess that I've been self-medding on T for almost 10 weeks. I know, I know.... how very irresponsible. I've paid for private blood tests, but didn't want to get out of the NHS system by going completely private. My voice has dropped big time and the facial hair is coming on nicely. I'm lucky enough to have started out pretty hairy (not that I considered this lucky when I was trying to live as female!) I've also been able to come off of my antidepressants for the first time in over 2 years and continue to feel pretty human.

Everything was beginning to feel like a bit of an anticlimax after sorting out all the practical stuff like name change and telling people, so I saw my GP and he encouraged me to chase up my GIC appointment. I phoned The Laurels yesterday and a really helpful lady confirmed that once the funding is agreed they should be able to offer me an appointment fairly quickly. Fortunately, my GP sits on the PCT committee that authorises funding for 'extraordinary treatments' and he was able to tell me that they are meeting next Tuesday so he will ensure that my paperwork gets dealt with then.

My girlfriend and I split up a few weeks ago. I guess it was mainly because of circumstances. We've been in a long-distance relationship for 2 years and there's no prospect of this changing, so we've decided to let ourselves enjoy separate futures. We remain very close friends and she continues to be a great support regarding my transition.

I haven't talked to anyone else about this, but like many teenaged boys I'm currently going through a period of questioning my sexuality. I've always been attracted to women, although generally not very femme girls. It never felt right for me to have a heterosexual relationship with a man, but that was partly because I wanted to be the man! I suppose in some ways I'm drawn to guys now as big brother/mentor type figures. I also still strongly relate to being gay and homosexuality doesn't necessarily go away when your gender 'changes'. I'm not a huge fan of labels (except on jam jars), so I'll settle for being curious and open-minded.

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"In the depths of winter I finally found that within me there lay an invincible summer."

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Chrissy
Forums Moderator.

Always have faith and believe in yourself.
Never run from the truth.
Have the will to change your fate and your spirit will never die.
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