tzone

shawn_trimm · Joined: 28 Jul 2008 Posts: 2

hi, i dont have really any body to talk to. Im just now admitting to myself who i really am. im really scared, my gf is freekn out and i dont know how to handel any thing. shes been cool at the same time.

I went out the frist time in mylife as shawn, i had every one buying it till i had to go to the ladies room. and the when i bent over to wash my hands my bind popped. Shocked

I was so scarerd. my gf helped me save it but still. i dont know if ill go out for awhile.

is it normle for some one to be happy when being them self and hateing them self at the same time? im really lost. Confused

Squigglefish · Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Posts: 218

Hey there, Shawn!

The first time out can be really scary, yes, but I bet it felt wonderful Smile

There's no reason to feel rushed for doing it again, or for really feeling that you should 'put it off' - just do so as and when you please, and things will move on naturally Smile

And yes, of course it is normal. Society doesn't help with dealing with that, either.

Really glad to here that it seems your girlfriend is trying to be supportive Smile

**Hellfrozeover** · Advisor Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 764 Location: UK

Hi Shawn, welcome to Tzone Smile

.

I don't have much to say that Squigglefish hasn't said already lol.

I can sort of understand how you feel on the hating issue I think. Personally it's a love of the freedom being myself brings but a hatred of the fact that at the end of the day I still have to deal with being partially the opposite gender to how I feel.

Maybe it's completely different reasons but that's what I got from reading anyway Razz

!

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Hellfrozeover be a pirate and a Transgenderzone moderator.

I don't stand under the TG umbrella anymore, it's way too bitchy and crowded in there but it's sunny out here Smile

**Reenie** · Reporter Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 3304 Location: Glasgow

Hi Shawn, welcome to tzone. Smile

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**Flameboy** · Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 11:49 am Post subject:

Hi Shawn, welcome to tzone!

You're not alone now, you have us to talk to - and we'll do our best to help where we can Smile

Don't panic about going out again - wait until you feel ready to; there's no need to rush anything. It's great that your girlfriend is supportive, even though she's freaking out. There's a good resource for partners and families of trans people called Depend - they have a number of Yahoo groups that she might like to join to get support from people in a similar situation to her. My partner is a member of the one for the partners of FTMs, and she finds it really useful.

I understand what you mean about being happy when being yourself and hating yourself at the same time - for me, that's to do with the inner conflict between my mind and the fact that my external body doesn't match my mind. I've found it has improved the more I transition, and I've become much more comfortable in my own skin - I hope that makes sense!

Hope that helps - keep posting, and why not start a blog in the My Story and Daily Blogs section - a lot of us have found it helps to be able to write down how we feel.

Dave

**PurplePrincess** · Advisor Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 2572 Location: Bristol

Hi

Shawn and welcome to tzone.

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Chrissy
Forums Moderator.

Always have faith and believe in yourself.
Never run from the truth.
Have the will to change your fate and your spirit will never die.
Check out the tzone team bios here: http://www.transgenderzone.com/bio.htm

shawn_trimm · Joined: 28 Jul 2008 Posts: 2

Wow, i didn't think id get a reply. this is cool! i saw the b4 and after huge difference yall. I can just pass 4 a teenage boy right now. lol i get told that if i want to rent a movie or get something at a store, to go get my mom its wried.

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my the force be with u

**PurplePrincess** · Advisor Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 2572 Location: Bristol

shawn_trimm wrote:

I can just pass 4 a teenage boy right now. lol i get told that if i want to rent a movie or get something at a store, to go get my mom its wried.

Hehe, I think that is pretty usual for trans guys. A lot of trans guys look younger than they are until they have been on testosterone for a while.

_________________
Chrissy
Forums Moderator.

Always have faith and believe in yourself.
Never run from the truth.
Have the will to change your fate and your spirit will never die.
Check out the tzone team bios here: http://www.transgenderzone.com/bio.htm