Thanks for that Dave. It's not as bad as ive been worrying about and like you say if dont have to see the gp im alloacted i didnt at my last practice lol.

Been at work a week now. people are really nice but god do i hate my dept i thought shop floor work was bad counters is worse 90% of the time im board and really dont know what the hell im ment to be doing. I forgot how much i hate working with food. I come home feeling like ive bathed in grease and it puts me off eating anything for a while. Plus i have a stupid hat and a hair net those things annoy the hell out of me. I thought id gotten away from all that 4 years ago when i left my last job >.<

Jess

Awww, sorry to hear that your job is getting you down a little. Sometimes when I'm at work I stop and think to myself, why am I putting myself through all this hard physical work? But then I remind myself of all the good points about my job.

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Chrissy
Forums Moderator.

Always have faith and believe in yourself.
Never run from the truth.
Have the will to change your fate and your spirit will never die.
Check out the tzone team bios here: http://www.transgenderzone.com/bio.htm

shame you hate you job, trust me though, i'd kill to do anywork right now, i've been made redundent 3 times since april this year! so working in a job and feeling like you've bathed in grease at the end don't sound to bad to me!

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jamie

I worked in a Road Chef as a holiday job when I was a student. It didn't last long, thankfully. Never again.

If you've got to work in a shitty environment, do the building site. Exercise and fresh air. Far healthier.

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The Daily Turnout - King of the Throne Room

Thanks all, I know anywork is good and i am greatfull ive got ajob.

I read about you being made redundent in your blog, 3 times and so close together i really feel for yas

Theres no chance ill quite or anything it's just really hard when i don't really know anyone at the store all i have is work to do and its really hard with out customers. At least with shelf filling you can set a different pace when you have lots or very little todo. maybe im just so used to being worked off my feet lol. At least the people all seem nice lol

Im really bored lately, just been sitting about playing games and watching tv. all of my friends are either away or working so i cant even chat to them even if it is on msn.
All this free time is getting me down again, having trouble sleeping for more than about 5 hours on a good night. seems like im back in the same position i was this time last year.

Got a few more hours at work good for money not good cause i dont like the dept. Although they have just put up an internal vac for fulltime on another dept so i applied for that.

sorta registered at the gp have a new patient appointment on the 2nd sept so thats a while off thats going to be interesting.

saw my parents on sunday for about 6 hours 4 of which was spent driving about looking for a place to eat and then eating the other 2 involved them trying to apply online for some local jobs. they now wont be back until friday and they are bringing my cousin with them. i like her an all but they really should have asked me if i didnt mind her staying especially since im the one thats looking after her and my brother.
Heh and my plan was to talk to them both and my brother. I'm not really ready to come out at work i want to start outside for a while and then once im/ everyone ok come out at work. i wanted to do this before my next appointment but thats not looking likely.

Have another ipl appointment morrow this will be my last with this place, a 280 mile round trip for ipl isnt cost effective so once im done ill look into somewhere a little closer. i would have canceled but id already paid for this one.

Oh well life goes on....

Jess

heh changed my mind and booked another one, the lady that does it is really nice very hyper and chatty so i booked another one. And traveling that distance every 8 weeks isnt that bad i guess.
The session went well she upped the intesity again im on 29 or 30 or something, definatly worked could smell those hairs burning very appealing lol.
Ive notice some improvement in my 2 sessions my upper lip takes a while to grow and i have nothing on my neck and very little below my lip just a bit to go on my chin really. Any thing thats left is really light, fine and not really noticeable.

Completed my first play thru on mass effect really great game bit short 26 hours it took but then with all this free time its not suprising. Start a 2nd play thru with the same Char also playing superman returns it's a lame game really but easy, something to pass the time i guess. once im completed on that ill prolly trade it in and get Civiliastion Reveloution that looks interesting.

Jess

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Chrissy
Forums Moderator.

Always have faith and believe in yourself.
Never run from the truth.
Have the will to change your fate and your spirit will never die.
Check out the tzone team bios here: http://www.transgenderzone.com/bio.htm

I'm pretty lucky I dont have a great deal and its mostly dark. It started to get lighter though so im a little worried eventually the ipl wont work and ill have to get some electro done dont like the thought of that tbh sounds painful

Lucky me since some one phoned in sick they gave me a crash course on the meat and fish counter on Sunday. so since then they have been training me up. So now i come home from work and all i can smell on my hands is fish or that stupid cleaning crap they use its horrible. good thing is its more hours so it means more money come paid day.
Still can't belive my previous store hasnt sent over my File yet its now coming up for 3-4 weeks since i started.

Been feeling really down the last couple of days. We went and scattered ny nans ashes on thursday. That added to the rest of the crap going on in my head Wasnt a great combo, and so this morning i ended up bursting in tears. Guess i couldnt keep it bottled up anymore. I could feel it coming whilst i was getting ready for work, Mum came into see if i was ready and i just went. So in the end i didnt go into work i really couldnt, I didnt feel fit to deal with customers. Also im having so much trouble sleeping again im lucky if i can get 3-5 hours sleep a night.

I'm really trying to talk to my parents again about the whole TS thing i want to start livin fulltime at least outside of work for the time being. I hate the idea of working in a supermarket i know im gonna have to do eventually but im hoping once im comfortable outside of work it should be much easyier. Work is the thing that scares me the most about going fulltime. It's little things like using the toilets and how the staff will treat me im new anyways so not many people know me. I dont care to much about the customers since i dont see the same ones everyday.

I have two appointments at CHX next month one on the 25 and another the week after the first one is to see the endo there, i dont know why im not on hormones or anything im guess it's to talk about my intial blood test i had done. The 2nd is my general appointment, I told the Dr that i would hopefully be living fulltime before my next appointment i really want to start but im scared. I don't want the Dr's to think im just wasting there time. In all honesty there is nothing stopping me from going fulltime now. I just need to speak to my parents and tell them i want to try it now. They know ive been thinking about it. Im scared they might not be as supportive as they intially said and ill end up losing them. atm my parents are all i really have my friends all live miles away and half of them don't know either. The whole thing is weighing me down again.

I've been looking at going back to college, i know i just quit uni but this looks to be a good course. Gets me Cisco certified and will hopefully get me outta crappy retail. Only down side is it's 2 years. Parents seem happy enough for me to do it. Still have to work though so thats 2 more years in a crap job. Needs some serious thought. I will ring up and find some more info about it in the week.

Jess

_________________
Chrissy
Forums Moderator.

Always have faith and believe in yourself.
Never run from the truth.
Have the will to change your fate and your spirit will never die.
Check out the tzone team bios here: http://www.transgenderzone.com/bio.htm

aww i got my dates all mixed up, my appointsments are on the 15th of sept and the 24th sept. Thats a shame if it was the 25th maybe we could have met up or something.

I really should join the Union at work i've been meaning to for awhile its just one of those things i haven't got round to doing. That'd be great any Info on work releated stuff would be a great help for when i do decide

It's real stupid really, when i look at it i know i'm worrying about nothing especially the whole work thing i mean my uniform is the same. I'm the same person im not suddenly gonna change or anything.

I've been wondering about a friend of mine for awhile as to whether he knows about me. I havent said anything and I dont think the people ive told have said anything. it just silly little things he's said a few times most i can't remember and i just passed it off as him joking about or being pre occupied. But the other day he text me and called me Dudette it seemed really odd.

Have my new patient appointment at my surgery today. Havent got a clue what its about but i have a few things i need to sort out my cholestral i'm having problems with arm the last month aswell as feeling really ill the last 3 days. should be so much fun its not even with the Dr but a nurse. I wonder if they have my file if they do i wonder if they've read it lol. Should make for some intresting reading thats for sure

_________________
Chrissy
Forums Moderator.

Always have faith and believe in yourself.
Never run from the truth.
Have the will to change your fate and your spirit will never die.
Check out the tzone team bios here: http://www.transgenderzone.com/bio.htm

yeah it turned out to be nothing at all they just took my weight height and some details on family history.
I'm booked in for another fasting blood test for my cholestral though, its mainly to see if my diets made any difference to my Cholestral levels. Im still a steady 10stone weight so thats good news but ive shrunk a little i used to me 5,10 nearly 5,11 but im only 5,9 now im not bothered i never liked being to tall anyway lol

Jess

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Feel free to add me to msn. i do turn it on honest