Oh!
....very sorry if I hurt your feelings Skyler.

Although my Mum doesn't have cancer (AFAIK) her lungs are totally shot and she is bedridden as a result of 20+ Woodbines per day for 60 years.
The results of smoking are not pretty, not ever.

Unfortunately, once one has established a tobacco addiction quitting is NOT easy and being surrounded by other smokers doesn't help much either.

_________________
I started out with Nothing - and I still have most of it left.....

You didn't hurt my feelings

Well today I had the joy of travelling 5 hours to end up almost back where I started then another 5 hours to get home...whee...

So I went and saw a gyno...who's decided to refer me to the guy I wanted a referral to in the first place

It's my fault really. When my doctor said he has a waiting list of a year I should have said well refer me anyway. But silly me being the idealist I thought surely someone would be willing to do it who can see me before then!

Not...
I feel stupid because I could have been referred months ago and got in that much sooner.

I'm really hoping that somehow it works out that I get in sooner than a freaking year. Who knows maybe he'll have a cancellation or something. Or maybe somehow my doctor was mistaken and his waiting list isn't THAT long. But meh everything has a long waiting list so not likely.

Oh well what's done is done. I wish I'd gone about it differently but I can't go back in time and do so.

Maybe not a total loss though, she's mentioned the possibility of having chest covered as gynecomastia. Obviously I'd have to be legally male but if I do the hysto and thus am able to get that changed...I had never before thought about that as option but then again I didn't know gynecomastia surgery was covered, plus why would I think of that while legally I'm still F

Though I'm frustrated with myself at not just getting referred to him in the first place I'm at least glad that I don't have to go 5 hours again to get it done! Plus this surgeon does it laproscopically which is part of why I wanted to go to him in the first place. Yay for being able to go have it done and come home the same day. And of course I'm also glad someone's willing to do it at all.

The other day I decided to give Maple Story a try to see what all the hype is about. I'm already hooked

My hard drive is failing. Not cool. My bank account may be very low soon since I've been set on getting a decent camera as well (assuming I don't get one for my birthday which I doubt I will I'm waiting til afterward to buy one just in case though)

I'm thinking I might just get an external hard drive and run everything off it. I don't particularly want to have to figure out what kind of internal hard drive would go in my lappy and have to install it and all, especially when I dont' know how much longer I'll use this machine anyway. I thought about just buying a new laptop but I'm not sure I have enough money to buy one good enough for me. Besides an external hard drive seems a good idea, then whenever it is I do get a new computer I can still use it easily enough for back up or whatever.

I'm still struggling to try and lose some weight to see if it helps with the sleep apnea. I know I'm going to have to get some exercise to have any chance at it but it's so hard when I have such little energy (due to the apnea, talk about a catch 22!)

It feels like moving to England is getting farther and farther away
I guess on the plus side I should have plenty of time to get a hysto and change my birth certificate and passport to Male before I move. And hell maybe I'll even manage chest surgery before, but I won't count on it.
But it's hard for me to deal with things being so up in the air. It's hard for me to not know when the hell it will be able to happen. I'd originally thought I'd be over there by now, but all kinds of shit happened and who knows when it will be a possibility.

And here sucks. Royally. Plus it sucks to be away from Chrissy. I might have to go for another visit whenever I have an income again and can save for it...

_________________
If music be the food of love, stand by for a good rogering

haha you got me there

Well I did manage to burn all the pics and stuff onto a CD right after my computer first told me my hard drive is going to fail (which I should have guessed anyway since it's been going slow and having writing errors...), and everything else is replacable, so if it goes to shit now it's not the end of the world. Wouldn't be all that fun to download everything again, but it's ok. Might be nice to start over from scratch actually, who knows how much crap I've accumulated on the hard drive over time

I am using my parents' computer in the meantime.

I really hope you get your computer going soon. It's hard to hear you as well on your parent's computer .

_________________
Chrissy
Forums Moderator.

Always have faith and believe in yourself.
Never run from the truth.
Have the will to change your fate and your spirit will never die.
Check out the tzone team bios here: http://www.transgenderzone.com/bio.htm

Yes I hope that you get your PC fixed soon. It must be hard not talking all the time to PP.

Fingers crossed that some thing happens soon.

_________________
" Too many years fighting the tears, Why can't the past just die. Try to for give, teach me to live, give me the strength to try. No more memories, no more silent tears, no more gazing across the wasted years, help me to say. Goodbye"
From Phantom Of The Opera

Fishkeeper is Admin staff for FTM's.
My Bio. http://www.transgenderzone.com/bio.htm
we have a library
http://www.transgenderzone.com/library

feel free to browse

Why I can never repair computers for a living:
I opened up the lappy intending to apply thermal paste but alas two of the screws holding the heatsink in are broke (my fault in the first place, surely...) and thus i can't get it off. So at that point I decided to put back everything that had been unscrewed and just go on.

Well the damn thing kept shutting off due to overheating (dont' get me wrong I'm glad it automatically shuts off then, I'm not glad though that it was overheating) so I spent the events of the next paragraph holding the damn thing up to the pedestal fan in my room (which is meant to have the job of keeping me cool, not my computer!) And after all that it occurred to me that I think I've forgotten to plug back in the fan wires. Goodness what a stupid thing to forget. This is why nobody in their right mind would pay me to fix computers

Well I tried to install Windows XP on the external hard drive which arrived today. It seemed like it was going to work, it got to the point of telling me it was going to reboot to finish setup, and then....blue screen telling me something failed. Several times I restarted only to get the same. Because apparently this is the year of shit and nothing can ever work for me.

Furthermore the internal hard drive won't even load Windows anymore so I can't do anything on that end. Damn good thing I backed up the important irreplacables while it was still possible.

So what to do now...
I can't be arsed to open it up to plug the fans back in tonight because I'm tired and spent far too long on the beast for one night.

I don't know if I even want to try to replace the internal hard drive. Who knows what I would forget to do then Besides there's the money...all to save a machine that's sort of on life support as it is. Badly designed beast anyhow, I don't think there's anybody with this model of laptop that hasn't had an issue of overheating. And I can't even change the thermal paste on the damn thing because I screwed up the screws.

I'd just as soon get a new laptop, but I can't afford it, especially after spending a chunk of money on the external hard drive and stuff

I suppose I'm stuck using the parents' until I've sorted out a job and saved up enough money...

So much for my brilliant ideas...

OK, so you're in laptop limbo for the time being...

Let's look on the bright side. You bought that external drive just in time. The ship was going down and you got everyone in the lifeboats. You mightn't be the world's greatest engineer but that was a first rate example of system management.

_________________
If music be the food of love, stand by for a good rogering

Also I have thermal paste for the next one
Well actually maybe it's not best to use it after so long
Though perhaps my parents' could use some new stuff. I think I got this computer back in 2002 and the thermal paste has not been changed on it. I think it's due. Plus the CPU temperature is at 64 right now and all I'm doing is writing a post on Tzone.

Can I be trusted to do so though? Mind you I'd be damn sure to plug everything back in. I'd be triple checking everything to make sure I didn't make any dumb mistakes LOL

Good thing I didn't decide to be a surgeon. Can you imagine? "Sorry sir, it seems I've forgotten to take out your appendix. Back to the OR!"

_________________
Chrissy
Forums Moderator.

Always have faith and believe in yourself.
Never run from the truth.
Have the will to change your fate and your spirit will never die.
Check out the tzone team bios here: http://www.transgenderzone.com/bio.htm

Victory is mine!

Erm yeah so since Windows XP was a diva that thought itsself too good for an external hard drive, I decided to try a Linux based OS. I went with the very cool ubuntu, downloaded it, burned it to a CD, and popped it into the laptop. Installed with no problem.

Unfortunately getting internet was not so simple. It took me two whole days to get the damn thing online. Well, I say whole days but it's not as though I spent 48 hours doing it. But definitely more time than I expected!

The main thing is companies just don't make Linux compatible drivers. Well perhaps some do, but most don't. So then Linux developers have to figure out ways to work with Windows drivers. I had to firstly install something called NDISwrapper, and then use that to install the driver for my NIC (which I had to go find the CD with the drivers for all the things for my laptop, and then figure out where on it that one was)

That much was simple enough but...after that it still wasn't working.

So I googled and tried things and googled and tried other things. So many things tried that...didn't help at all.

Finally today I found the answer. That being there is a bug involved with installing Broadcom drivers on ubuntu. I followed the instructions given to fix it, by then not expecting anything to work, but I'll be damned, immediately after I was able to detect the router I needed (and several others that I didn't care about)

Now I can sleep happy

Glad you got things sorted out

When I finished rebuliding my old beetle my Dad and I took it out for a test drive. We got about 2 miles down the road and the car started to shake violently, about 50 yards later the front wheel came off! I hadnt tightened any of the wheel nuts on that wheel....

So dont feel bad about making a mistake - we all do it at some point in time, its how you deal with it that counts